Primary School Mafia

For those of you who don't know, I joined my company's softball team. (I'm pausing to give you time to laugh). I am not good at sports. I think the last time I did anything organized sports-related I was 3 feet tall and in pigtails (and I may have scored on my own team).

All that aside, I'm having lots of fun so far. We had our second practice today and everyone is very encouraing and supportive. Tyler is on HIS company's softball team so eventually we shall meet for a show-down-- until then, he's helping me practice by playing catch at home- so that's fun too.

Back to the main point... Before I came to practice. I grabbed a 6 inch sub and some baked lays (fuel for the game, right?) I sat on the sidelines and was scarfing when two of my coworkers kids, Ivan and Gus approached me. They are about 7 and 4 I'd guess. Here's our interaction.

Ivan: Hi
me: Hi Ivan! What's up?
Ivan: I'm the new bat boy!!! I'm only 7 and I have a job. I'm a big deal.
me: That's cool. Do you get good dental?
Ivan: (pause) I don't know what that is...
me: It's lame adult stuff, no worries. Are you having fun so far today?
Ivan: Yeah... Subway is my favorite food... *stops and stares me down*
Ivan's mom (five feet away): Ivan! That's so rude!!!
me: It's okay. What's your favorite sub?
Ivan: Turkey (stares me down... I'm eating a turkey sub)
mom: *warning tone* IVAN...
me: What do you like on your sub?
Ivan: Just turkey, cheese and mayo.
me: that sounds nice
*beat*
Ivan: I'M HUNGRY!!!
mom: IVAN! You stop that!!!
me: How about you help me finish off my chips? I'll give them to you if you share with your brother
Ivan: *snatching chips from me* Okay, but he should get his own.
mom: IVAN!! GEEEZ!

That kid drives a hard bargain, and he's pretty hardcore. I don't ever want to cross him.

But he actually is a pretty good bat boy.

gotta go put a hot pack on my shoulder-- why does tossing a ball around make you so sore?