Wacky life of a DJ

Working at a radio station means you have to take phone calls from people. This can be fun or it can be the worst part of your shift. I've worked shifts where I've been called an "unpatriotic bitch" for playing Dixie Chicks, where old grizzly-sounding truckers call to tell me "I have a sexy voice... When do I get off work?" Sometimes pranksters call in with the whole "Do you like scary movies" bit. Sometimes people call you every 5 minutes wanting to know when their song will be on. And every now and then you get the smart ass saying "Do you play Snoop Dog?" ---- This is a COUNTRY station.

Disregarding all this weirdness we also have an old lady that never fails to call at least once per shift. She is impossible to get off the phone, and almost always intoxicated. Topics of conversation include 1) My kids never visit 2) All my friends are dying of cancer 3) I never win at bridge, and 4) I have been so constipated lately. --- Phone calls from her are always a treat.

But today's call might have been the weirdest... (name or radio station withheld to protect... well... me)
me: Thanks for calling *name or radio station*, What can I do for ya?
caller: (screaming) HELLO!!
me: Um, yes, what can I do for you?
caller: Where are you, this is ridiculous!
me: Well, I'm right here.
caller: That's nice. I'm at Culvers!
me: Culvers, that sounds tasty.
caller: Don't be a smart ass. Where are you?
me: I'm working. Can I help you with something?
caller: You can get your ass over here.
me: That is quite impossible, I'm sorry.
caller: Well, how long do I have to wait for you?
me: Ma'am, are you aware you have called a radio station?
caller: (screaming) WHAT?
me: Did you want a request played or anything?
caller: (silence....) SHIT..... (dial tone)