Merry freakin' Christmas!

Yay! I don't work tomorrow! I have worked constantly lately (gotta love retail) but they can't make me work tomorrow... errr-- today. Because it's Christmas! Hooray! Life has been crazy busy lately. I really need to finish my thank-you notes from graduation and every piece of silverware I own is currently dirty. Ah well.

Friday we celebrated Heather's upcoming wedding. We brought in a passion party consultant! Scandalous! I had no idea the sex industry was so lucrative. We had a good time hooting and hollering at various--err-- instruments that once turned on, lit up and vibrated all over the place. Quite amusing. I think we sent Heather off in style.

Retail adventures have occupied the rest of my time. Worked all day today and dealt with mostly frazzled-looking men who bought anything you threw at them. We had a few women come in today but they were really snotty. They kept whining, "Ugh, I can't believe how picked over you are!" Um-- it's Christmas Eve? Dweebs.

Mom, Dad and I kept our usual Christmas Eve tradition of very laid back style. We had to wake dad up to open presents (he worked from 6am-4pm and then went back in tonight at midnight). We all got some nice things. I made mom a fleece tie quilt that I am quite proud of, she is at this very moment snoring under it in the chair next to me. Mom and dad surprised me by buying the ottoman that goes with the sofa Tyler and I just bought. He and I are really happy to have made our first big-kid purchase together. And it's super comfy! When we move in, I invite you all to come over and try it out.

The fam and I have been snacking all night on our meat and cheese tray, shrimp dip and cookies. Very healthy of course. Tomorrow we'll have our traditional Mexican enchilada dinner. I love the holidays! Tonight was tough for me. I try so hard to find peace in my heart when I'm in church, but the last few years I mostly feel anger, frustration and an overwhelming urge to get up and leave. Not the fault of my pastors. Just where I'm at in life and how I feel about mainstream Christianity as a whole. During the solo of "O Holy Night" I realized I was really just angry with God--which is stupid and unfair and unhealthy. But I just can't help feeling like God could really be doing a better job in some cases. Why do things happen like they do? Why do I have such crippling anxiety? Why did Jake's sister die in that car accident? Why did God take Jason when he was such a sweet kid who had so much to offer? He fought so hard against cancer and everyone prayed so hard... it makes me so mad.

Ah well, that's a whole 'nother conversation and far too serious--- After church I felt antsy but cookies and White Christmas helped out. I really am happy that it's Christmas, I just wish I had God hanging around so I could ask her some personal questions is all :)

Very excited for the next few days. I work a bit more then David and Brian come to town-- my favorite boys-- hooray! In fact, lots of fun folks are in town, Ainsley, Hunter, Christy-- lots of people to see. In less than a week Heather and Aaron get married, then I am moving! Big adventures. Hopefully I can be controlled less by anxiety and have more courage.

Gotta go or I'll miss the finale of White Christmas-- it always makes me cry.

Merry Christmas to all!!!

PS: Special shout out to Spence who just found my blog, I love you! Merry Christmas to P-town! :)