Wacky comparison #2

Do you see a difference in these pictures?
If your answer is "no." Prepare to be shocked.Picture on the right is of course, Saddam Hussein

Picture on the left in the flannel...... ready for this?Mel Gibson.Is it just me or is Mel getting more and more odd?

On Birthdays and Booze!

My roommate Heather turned 21 on Friday. Whoo hoo! When you're in college and not 21, your social life can really suffer. And this is coming from me! I hardly ever go to bars. It's just that most of the bands that play, play in bars. When people go out, they have drinks. Sadly, if you're underage and a cop pulls you over (even if you've only had a sip of beer) you will get cited while the 21-year-old passed out in his own puke on the sidewalk next to you gets nothing but a ride home. It is frustrating. But now heather has joined the world of legal drinkers. Welcome girl and enjoy :)

I've been 21 since April and I do enjoy the benefits. A drink now and then or an evening dancing at the local nightclub can be enjoyable. But I haven't forgetten life before 21. The annoyance is still fresh in my mind. Let's think about this--- I can get married but not have a drink at my reception. I could die for my country in a war. I can move out of my parent's home, hold down a full time job and go to school. I pay rent, taxes and drive a car, (hell my boyfriend was flying planes before he could legally drink). I mean people can vote for the leader of their country and yet-- god forbid we have a beer.

It makes me crazy. Just crazy. It makes no sense! I realize in life you have to pick your battles, and the drinking age is just one of those stupid things we have to put up with... like commericals for Hugo's grocery story, or speeches from George Bush. But it seems lately that I've hit the wall in patience for stupid, unecessary laws.

I took Heather out on the night before her birthday. At midnight I attempted to order her one martini. The answer-- No.

Did you know that it's is illegal in North Dakota to sell to a 21 year old until the business day of their birthday? Even though bars are now open until 2 am. *sarcasm alert* Well, it's for their own good right, if they were able to have a drink they might go nuts and drink until they exploded... perhaps we should grandfather them in as well? How about only one drink per week until you're 22?

The ND law came out of people attempting "power hours." A power hour is attempting 21 shots in an hour. You know what I say to that? Those idiots are going to drink on their birthday whether you serve them in a bar or not. Meanwhile I'm sitting with a straight-A, pre-med student who's waited 21 stupid years and STILL can't legally have on drink when she's 21. I wanted to tear my hair out. Where were the moral police when the 40 year old at the bar nearly fell off his chair?

The newest noise is that our city council will now require local parks to be alcohol free unless peopel have permits. Now, this law is due to a University event called "Springfest" where students bring bands, port-a-pottys, food vendors and hundreds of college kids to the park to enjoy a fun day and yes, enjoy some beer.

Fair enough, it sounds like a recipe for disaster and it has been in the past (burning couches and fist-fights) but in recent years the student body has worked with the city to make sure there are enough police to monitor the crowd etc. I went last year (just a few weeks after my 21st) and had a blast. Running into people, enjoying music and food... and yes beer. It was fun!

I don't know who I should be more mad at: This ridiculous tea-totaller society that is making alcohol out to be the worst thing ever. Or mad at the idiots who try to do 21 shots in an hour (thank you for making my hometown #1 in binge drinking). Then there's the winners at Springfest who pee in people's flower beds and puke in the street. *sigh* maybe this argument isn't so simple.

I tell you what though. Idiots drive drunk every day and no one talks about taking all the cars away from society to make everything "safer."

How about we punish the people who drink too much, cause fights, light things on fire and pee in public and you leave me and other mature adults alone. That includes my friend who is legally 21 --- give her her damn martini and move on. I promise to use the restroom and not be sick in public. I can't promise I'll be dancing well but I'll be having a great time :)

Wacky life of a DJ

Working at a radio station means you have to take phone calls from people. This can be fun or it can be the worst part of your shift. I've worked shifts where I've been called an "unpatriotic bitch" for playing Dixie Chicks, where old grizzly-sounding truckers call to tell me "I have a sexy voice... When do I get off work?" Sometimes pranksters call in with the whole "Do you like scary movies" bit. Sometimes people call you every 5 minutes wanting to know when their song will be on. And every now and then you get the smart ass saying "Do you play Snoop Dog?" ---- This is a COUNTRY station.

Disregarding all this weirdness we also have an old lady that never fails to call at least once per shift. She is impossible to get off the phone, and almost always intoxicated. Topics of conversation include 1) My kids never visit 2) All my friends are dying of cancer 3) I never win at bridge, and 4) I have been so constipated lately. --- Phone calls from her are always a treat.

But today's call might have been the weirdest... (name or radio station withheld to protect... well... me)
me: Thanks for calling *name or radio station*, What can I do for ya?
caller: (screaming) HELLO!!
me: Um, yes, what can I do for you?
caller: Where are you, this is ridiculous!
me: Well, I'm right here.
caller: That's nice. I'm at Culvers!
me: Culvers, that sounds tasty.
caller: Don't be a smart ass. Where are you?
me: I'm working. Can I help you with something?
caller: You can get your ass over here.
me: That is quite impossible, I'm sorry.
caller: Well, how long do I have to wait for you?
me: Ma'am, are you aware you have called a radio station?
caller: (screaming) WHAT?
me: Did you want a request played or anything?
caller: (silence....) SHIT..... (dial tone)

Class or the lack of it

(this is me... sucking at life... actually it's me after a night at the bar. I'm a wee bit intoxicated and apparently, I thought I was a lion in this picture... a very, very drunk lion.)

To be honest... I suck this week. Suck bad.

I've skipped at least one class a day. Sometimes more. When I do make the effort to show up, my time is divided between a) trying not to sleep b) texting people "I'm bored" or c) checking my watch to see the minutes tick by.

Why the bad attitude? I am revolting against a system that could care less if I revolted or not. I know I'm only screwing myself over but there's a part of me *(the delusional part)* that feels like I'm "stickin' it to the man" when I stay home in PJ's. It's like a big middle finger raised at my many impending research papers.

I need a little vent time, folks. I'm TIRED. Tired of teachers that live in their own little world that don't recognize what a reasonable workload is. I sound like a whiny beyotch, but I know I'm right-- one class I'm in has dropped from 20 students to FIVE. If I could do math, I'd say that's an insane percentage drop--- but I don't do math so I'll just say, THAT IS A LOT. This particular prof. gives out at least 300 pages to read in 2 days. Lady--- I got 18 credits and sometimes I try to have a life. All this is made more painful when I'm forced to read "Pamela," "Wuthering Heights" and other 17th/18th century novels that generally just piss me off. Is there an unwritten rule that English majors can only read English works from like 100+ years ago?

I'm tired of my religion class. I know I should be excited to learn about Hinduism but at the moment all the myths I've read about are very focused on "phallic symbols." Please, do I really need to read about how some God named Shiva created the universe with his penis? Most men already think the world revolves around their wang, don't encourage them.

This method of avoidance can't last long. I've already missed too much. Tomorrow it's back to the mines. I'll start taking notes, engaging in class discussion and stop thinking of mean things in my head that I would say to the professor if I had half a chance.

If I really think about it, this angry side came out post-midterms. School took over my life for a week and left it in shambles. I guess I was just "taking back the night, so to speak. Now I have recuperated and it's time to move on... wish me luck.

I guess this means I should study something now.... oh well, always tomorrow.

Blast you vile woman!

My mother... it's all her fault. I am usually not a big TV person. I hardly watch at the apartment.

If I'm catching a show, it's something Tyler has recorded on that TIVO-like contraption he has. We watch Family Guy, Law & Order SVU (home of hunky cop guy-- see Timeline of crushes) or I admit, I always catch the latest episode of America's Next Top Model. But ever since Buffy and the spin-off Angel were pulled off the air, I haven't really had a series I've been obsessively following.

My mother has changed all that. Damn her.

The show is called Veronica Mars. Yeah. I was skeptical too. I mean, what kind of weird writer names his main character after a planet. (says the girl who watched BUFFY the vampire slayer). But this show has taken over my life. It's sad. My mom has the whole first season on DVD and I'm not lying when I say, I've blown off meals, homework and phone calls and have watched for hours. I think I might get through 22, 1-hour episodes in less than a week! SICK.

Every time I start a new episode, I think to myself: "Okay this is the last one" but then the episode ends and a HUGE turn in plot happens. For example: we find out the main character may be inadvertently dating her half-brother... then a woman commits suicide but it looks like she might not be dead? Did I mention that most men in the show are rather good looking?

Okay- the plots might sound stupid and over the top (think The O.C.) but I swear it's SWEET! Time Magazine named it one of the 6 best dramas on TV. So yeah-- this is all I can post on at the moment because it's been pretty much all I've been doing.
SAD... maybe... do I care? NO.

I blame my mother for addicting me. She is a bad influence like that. I mean, you know my mom, she's always peer pressuring me to do drugs and stuff, and I'm all, "Go away, mom. I'm watching Veronica Mars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just cause I can't resist- here are some of my favorite quotes from season 1"

Logan (at the 80's dance): "Come on, everyone! Let's Wang Chung tonight! What? Everybody Wang Chung tonight! Wang Chung or I'll kick your ass!"

Veronica (another quote from the 80's dance): "J. Geils was right. Love stinks. You can dress it up in sequins and shoulder pads, but one way or another, you're just gonna end up alone at the spring dance strapped in uncomfortable underwear."

Veronica (threatening a bad guy): "You know, it's all fun and games until you get my foot up your ass."

Vice Principal: "Logan, May I have a word?"
Logan:"Anthropomorphic. It's all yours, big guy."

Veronica (taking a surprise photo of men's secret society) "Hi everyone! Say -repressed homosexuality!"

American pasttimes

I've been out of high school for 4 years and I don't recognize it anymore...

Not along ago, browsing CNN.com I came across an article that read: Long Island principal cancels prom--Principal: School 'willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy'If you want to see this disturbing story in its entirety please click on
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/16/prom.canceled.ap/index.html

The basic gist of this story was a private school was canceling its prom to eliminate the insane spending of students and parents.

Examples:
-- Students spending over $20,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons.
-- Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a limo packed with more liquor.
-- Parents chartering a boat for their children's late night "booze cruise."

Okay. My prom was fun because mom paid for my $45 hair-do and my $58 dress. I drove in a minivan or whatever was convenient. I danced in my school lunchroom that had been decorated with hanging stars and a few tables with a candle in the middle. To me-- this was the height of luxury and glamour. And whatever, I don't care if that makes me look like the hick-girl from North Dakota.

I'm proud my parents never indulged me in such a lifestyle and don't get me wrong, I've never wanted for ANYTHING but I'm happy that my post prom party consisted of pizza, ice cream and karaoke machines. Not to mention endless bouncing on inflatable devices until I nearly passed out.

I realize that I never grew up in a super-wealthy home, or for that matter, a super-wealthy community so maybe I don't understand-- but to me it's just so disappointing to hear that prom has gotten so out of hand.

Prom is supposed to be a bunch of awkward kids pinning on corsages, feeling like royalty because 20 of them crammed into a limo. It's that last hoorah of High School.
We shouldn't be getting tips from the Minnesota Vikings and sponsoring booze cruises. Can't you hear some parent? --- "Let's let all our kids on a boat without supervision and get them drunk!!"-- brilliant idea or recipe for assault and drowning?

I had to laugh because although many students were complaining, they admitted that the senior class still had a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April.

Oh yes, you poor, poor kids. I feel so bad for you.

Bad Tuesday

Today is cold, gray and gloomy... and so is my mood.

-Woke up 20 minutes late for meeting.

-Got my paper back in English (the paper that took four hours.) It read: "Emily, this reads like an incomplete thesis statement. You completely missed the concept-- 70%" -- I guess it could have been worse, the girl next to me got a 15%.

-In Modern Grammar the prof called on me (I was almost asleep too- dangit) and asked me how many "noun particles" there were in the sentence. I replied "3. Man, book, and coffee" My prof shook his head and said, "Now class we know that's wrong. There are how many particles here?" Everybody answers, "three." "And what are they, class?" In unison, "Man, book and coffee"-- UM, am I talking to a wall here? Only the girl sitting directly in front of me turned around and said "didn't you say that?" -- THANK YOU

-I lost my student ID at the last hockey game and just shelled out $10 for a new one when I got a message on facebook. "Hi Emily, I found your ID." BLAST.

-Walking out of Merrifield, I tripped and did this awkward half-fall where I promptly splashed into a mud puddle. How attractive.

I have resolved to dislike this day and hide inside sweatpants and a hoodie until it goes away. I may or may not show up for my night class. I dont' know how much more I can take. Did I mention an 8 page midterm is due tomorrow on Eastern Religions in America. Blast!

Timeline of my crushes

Perhaps, it's weird, but when I look back at my growth from girl to woman, I remember all those defining moments. Like learning how to ride a bike and spell the word "Mississippi." Or how about when I figured out how to rollerblade and more importantly how to brake!

But also an important day... When I first realized boys were cute, and subsequently when I realized that the very cutest and most desirable boys weren't the snot-nosed dorks on the playground but the fantastic heroes of Hollywood. Here's a look back and some of the favorites who made my heart melt:

8-13 years old: Harrison Ford. Either Han Solo or Indiana Jones-- didn't matter. He was my guy. Perfect for a young girl who wanted adventure. This guy could look handsome in everything from 1930's garb to space suits.

13-14 years old: Leonardo DiCaprio (circa Titanic-- yeah I'm "that" girl. 'I'll never let go' -- His posters were all over my bedroom. I admit it).

14-16: Joshua Jackson- aka Pacey, from Dawson's Creek. Really sweet and goofy and he just needed a nice girl to give some confidence. Plus he was slightly more attainable than Harrison or Leonardo. (yes I'm on a first name basis with these guys, what's your point?)

17-19 Orlando Bloom (Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean)--- don't know how to explain this one-- elves turn me on? But the swashbuckling, handsome pirate-- please, that's a no-brainer-- huh, on that note, Johnny Depp wasn't bad in that movie either. Damn Kierra Knightly!

Currently (see above picture):
Joaquin Phoenix: It's that brooding look combined with deadpan humor-- watch the movie "signs" for examples-- "This crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again."

Christopher Meloni -- Law & Order SVU. *drool* He's rugged and tough. Sometimes even emotionally unavailable which of course makes him seem even more mysterious and brooding. In SVU, he's got these personal demons that drive him and he's always shoving child molesters around and getting in trouble with the captain. Grr-- I love bad boys who are really good guys! The muscles don't hurt either.

Now, some might argue that having crushes on unattainable men is sad. I say- no! It's no more sad than half my male friends lusting after Jessica Alba (what heterosexual man doesn’t do that?).

True, I'll never meet, date or get to know any of these men but I like it that way. For all I know they're just more warped Hollywood people. My Midwest style of living would not jive with their need to surgically enhance all my features.

The important thing is the crushes are healthy and I have at no time, sent them my cell phone number … cause that would just be sad… and wrong… seriously. What are you looking at? I'm NORMAL :)

Damn- I've succumbed to Facebook

I tried to work against it. But it was a force more powerful than I am! FACEBOOK. I vowed I would not join. It would just be one more thing online that I'd do rather than read my 16th century Buddhist literature-- (which is sooo interesting by the way...and yes that is sarcasm).

But now I'm very concerned. What is facebook etiquette? Should I "poke" people? Should I be annoyed at being poked? Should I become worried if no one wants to poke me? AH- the pressure!

After looking through former graduates of my high school I wonder... who is it appropriate to poke and/or add as a friend. What if I add someone who's like "Damn, that girl again! I thought I lost her after graduation!"

Then there's all this pressure to put together a killer profile. What are your favorite movies? You gotta say something cool -- not like "I love anything by Chuck Norris." What are my favorite books? What? I mean, I love reading but during the semester the only stuff I read is what the professor hands to me. That's all you have time for when you're enrolled in 4 English courses. **Incidentally, the latest assigned reading was "Fanny Hill" which is an 18th century novel that is almost entirely pornographic. I mean GRAPHIC descriptions of sex with men and women and long descriptions of masturbation. You'd think that would keep me awake, but like any other assignment I passed out while reading it. See if masturbation scenes can't keep you awake you must be tired!

But back to the point-- Facebook. There's all this pressure. When you first sign on, you're just a screenname. No profile, and as facebook kindly points out, "Emily has no friends" and "Emily has no messages or posts." I am desperate to immediately appear worldly and loved. Sad, I know. But I guess it's a happy alternative to the erotica I must have read by Friday.

Fave movie quotes

Randomly thought about fave movie quotes today... here is the first of what should be many installments.

“A heart can be broken, but it keeps beating just the same.”
-*Fried Green Tomatoes.*

"She hates him with a fire of a thousand suns, that's a direct quote."
-Ten things I hate about you

"He just broke up with Anna Scott"
Spike: "You daft prick
"-Notting Hill

"Against my will, I am sent to bid you come into dinner….There's a double meaning in that...”-Benedict, Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing"

If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?"
Hannibal: "Who can say. Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere"
- Silence of the Lambs

"Everything seems like nothing to me right now cause I want you in my bed. I love you, not like they told you love is. I didn't know this. Love doesn't make things nice. It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us. We are here to ruin ourselves and love the wrong people and to die. The storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed."
--Ronnie, Moonstruck

"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you! You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
-Gone with the Wind

“I make more money than.. Calvin Coolidge… PUT TOGETHER!”
-Singing in the Rain

“Man it sucks up here.”
-Armegedon

“I hope the pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams, I hope…”
-Shawshank redemption

“A person is smart, people are dumb animals”
-Men in Black

Mother Nun: "There are various vows a nun lives by, the vow of poverty, the vow of chastity..."
Whoopi Goldberg: "I am outta here"
-Sister Act

"I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car."
-Ferris Beuler's Day Off

"Think about John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold doesn't dance, he can hardly walk! Be a man! Kick someone, punch someone, bite someone's ear! Men do not dance. They work, they drink, they have bad backs, they don't dance!"
-In & Out

Kate: What do you shower once a week?
Doug: Is that an invitation?
-The Cutting Edge

"There's no crying in baseball."
-A League of their Own

Sugar Shock part II

South Beach diet has been going on for one whole week. I have 5 days left to go on phase 1.

After that, I can have fruit back, carbs back (only two servings per day) and every now and then-- a cookie. I can also start to drink again.

For my celebratory dinner I want lettuce wraps at Suite 49-- actually Phase 1 appropriate -- and a martini. I really shouldn't get so excited but after so many days of being very limited on what I can consume, I'm looking forward to a treat and a little more variety.

Wish me luck!

A very odd post

Is it just me or do I look very similar to Ross-- the slug-like monster from Disney movie, Monsters Inc.?

This photo of me is courtesy of my cell phone- taken after a snowfall in October- which could explain the crabby expression. Just thought it was an interesting comparison.

I'm an addict?

(So... sad...without...sugar)

I have stayed away from cigarretes. I don't gamble. I don't drink that much (proud to say alcohol has never made me puke) so how did I not escape it? The ADDICTION. It's not crack, or even Meth. It's sugar.

Don't laugh. I think it's true.

First you should know, I am attempting South Beach Diet, which is forcing me to give up all carbs and sugar. Only meat, veggies and cheese for 2 weeks.

Today on MSNBC.com I found an article titled, "Majority of Americans likely to become fat."

The article stated that, "9 out of 10 men and 7 out of 10 women will become overweight in their lifetime." The study also shows, "Americans live in an environment in which it’s hard not to become overweight or obese. Unless people actively work against that, that’s what’s most likely to happen to them.”

I was really hoping the article would have a "quick and easy fix" paragraph, but alas. As if people didn't have enough to worry about, now we need to pour constant energy into not being fat. Do you know how much energy I'm using already to simply avoid cookies for the next two weeks? It's so much harder than I thought.

I about had a mental breakdown in the grocery story when I realized there would be no bread, bagels, fruit or oreos. I'm just a carb kinda girl and definitely a SUGAR girl. I have resorted to buying flavored Dasani water (splenda not sugar of course) to get a sweet-tooth fix. There should really be a patch for this sort of thing.

You might think I'm being dramatic-- and I do have a flair for doing so. But giving up sugar, when you've never disciplined yourself to do so, is quite simply-- PAINFUL.

When I researched sugar addiction, I found out some interesting stuff:
-- Sugar addiction is recognized by many addiction counseors
-- Abruptly giving up sugar invariably brings on the sort of withdrawal symptoms associated with narcotic drugs- fatigue, lassitude, depression, moodiness, headaches, aching limbs.
-- Its addictive nature is also reflected in current per capita consumption in the USA- an average of 130 pounds of sugar per person per year, or about 1/3 pound daily.

If that doesn't qualify as 'substance abuse' I don't know what would.Good news is that I keep hearing this will get easier. That's comforting and I might lose some unwanted pounds in the process. I'll never be the girl on the cover of SHAPE magazine. But I can be a better version of me and in the process reduce the risk of heart disease.

Homecoming 2005

Homecoming came and went. Good times had by all. For once weather cooperated in North Dakota and gave us sunny and 76 degrees.. a start contrast to the 5 to 10 inches of snow we may receive today or tomorrow *eye roll*.

I walked in the parade with the Studio One float. My job was to give out candy and do mock interviews with this fake camera. Word to the wise, if you march in a parade, make sure you have enough candy. Children may be small but they can be vicious.

The tailgating was delightful. A blur of BBQ and beer. And then UND whomped the St. Cloud huskies. It was a fun game and everything.

After all that I went and did laundry at my mother's and then promptly fell asleep. Which explains why once again it's technically Monday morning and homework is not done and what is done is rather half-ass. Damn me.

At least I had a good time. And I met this lovely green fellow to boot. Who can fault me for that?

The OCS - Only Child Syndrome

People make a lot of snap judgments. If you're blonde, you're dumb. If you're fat, you're lazy. If you're an only child... you must be spoiled.

As an only child, I can say with a lot of confidence, nothing could be more false. There are benefits to be sure. When I was younger and mom and dad would ask, "Where should we go to eat?" I had no sibling arguing with me over 'Pizza Hut vs. Subway.' I said Subway, and we went there, unless dad wanted Burger King... It's true that my parents had one kid to buy for at Christmas. That was nice, but it didn't mean I had a pile of presents 6 feet tall. I never got a pony and for that matter I never expected one.

When I was 12, I wanted a TV in my room so I could watch Disney movies. I saved babysitting money for 11 months until I could buy a 13 inch Sylvania with VCR attached. And that sucker lasted me until just a few weeks ago (at which point, it was so old most video looked blue and the tracking was off...very disturbing). Point is, I worked hard for it and I took care of it so it lasted me almost a decade.

I took/take good care of my possessions. I try to keep CD's scratch-free and clothes hung up. If I spill grape juice on my bedspread, I feel really bad about it and wash it right away. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to lend out my possessions, especially when I'm not given the option and possessions are taken from me without asking.

What makes it harder is when people use the excuse of "being the only child" who can't share. I can share, I love to share. I will share a big can of whoop-ass if you don't start respecting my property.

This is for all the only children out there.

We aren't spoiled, (well maybe some of us, but that's a fluke). I've met plenty of people with siblings who act like the world revolves around them. Stop stereotyping. Only children are people too!

Disclaimer: This blog was based on fictional hypotheticals and does not represent any people (*cough* roommate) or incident :)