Intoxicated Ants

The title of this post is inspired by a random event at my mother's house.

Last weekend was a family reunion and while I returned home on Sunday my mother didn't get back until a week later. I hopped over to chat with her and get all the family gossip after she returned home (I know they talk about people after they leave) -- so I had to find out how ridiculed I was :) Mom and I popped open a bottle of red wine and sat outside. As we both took a sip, our faces just seized up. Yeah, the wine had most definitely gone bad. I poured it out onto the patio and looked down to see that I had totally dumped it all on this tiny little ant.

The next several minutes I watched this ant stumble, literally stumble around in circles. It was spazzing out like it was having a seizure. I laughed so hard that I snorted. I feel kind of bad in hindsight. What if the ant was underage and it got back to the ant hill and the parent ants got all pissed at him? And the ant was all, "Mom I swear, someone just poured it on me! It's not my fault!"

Oh. Sad.

Job searching is no fun. I think my problem is I'm a job snob. I checked the online listing and Burger King is hiring but I'm all, "ehhhhhh" about working for the King. Or the "BK Lounge" as Dane Cook would call it. I've been on several interviews where I'm told, "You're great. We'll be hiring when school starts." Fabulous and until then I can starve? Worse is that I'm getting super used to not working. I sleep late, read all day, goof around with friends, play outside and am a big fat waste of space.

Now for instance, I'm super thirsty but don't want to get off my bum and go get water. I'm am squatting at Tyler's this afternoon since his power is actually going to stay on. I sincerely hope that after tomorrow this power outage madness will be over.

Good Lord. I just saw an Orbit gum commercial with Snoop Dogg where he ends up in hell with old ladies and that creepy smiley woman shoes up with a goat... seriously. I could go into the advertising world and do better than this crap.

Am I sad and pathetic because I'm super stoked for two movies to come out this summer? This Friday "The Devil Wears Prada" comes out (I'm almost done with my book on CD-- one disc left) and in July "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel -- I liked the first one so I'm all about this one. Doesn't hurt that it stars Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. And Kierra Knightly is one of the few young actresses in Hollywood that I respect. She's up there with Reese Witherspoon, Ashley Judd, Selma Hayeck and on occasion (when she's not kissing her brother, or wearing Billy Bob's blood around her neck) Angelina Jolie.

Okay, one more thing before I go. What the deuce is up with women in reality shows lately? Seems like every time I turn on TV I see ads for "Bridezilla" shows or "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. Yesterday (I'm embarassed to admit) I watched a few minutes of "Hogan knows Best" and "P.Diddy's Making the Band." Both shows featured people harping on young aspiring female singers to “lose weight” and all of these girls were perfect. Are woman not allowed curves people, sheesh?

Sorry to end on that note but I must go out and keep looking for jobs. Then tonight when my power comes back on (God willing) I’m gonna try and hang some art. I HATE white walls. Wish me luck and pray that I don’t end up at the BK Lounge!