Disney for the Day

One of my fave Pixar creations is Ratatouille. Poor little Remy loves gourmet cooking, but he's a rat and his gift of sensitive smell is used to test the rat colony's food supply for poison.

But that all changes and ensuing hilarity follows.

PS: At about 3:30, something happens to Remy and his brother, Emil that makes me laugh HYSTERICALLY every time. Their fur gets all poofy too.

Enjoy


Best line also from Emil: "Don't like it... not good... she's gonna wake up...."

Emily does her taxes

Last night I finally sat down to e-file. Tyler helped me and I 100% needed him to complete the operation (any type of government form tends to give me panic attacks).

Some snippets to paint you a mental picture.

Tyler: Okay, what was the federal income tax withheld on that W2?

Me: Um.... 6 cents.

Tyler: (beat) What?

ME: 6 cents.

Tyler: oooooh

Me: Not good?

Tyler: Not for your rebate, no.

This year I seriously had 5 or 6 W2's. And after entering every single one, I had a grand total of my combined incomes for '07. A whopping 10 grand.

For one whole year I made $10,000. It was the 9-month Americorps internship that paid $350 a month that did me in. Sure it was a great experience and a good way to make community connections but youch.

I honestly figured there would be some sort of kickback for that... like, "Hey you did a bunch of really hard work for almost no wages and it benefited your community and state.... Here's a hundred bucks for your trouble." Nope.

You get kickbacks for the weirdest stuff.

Example:

Tyler: Okay ... did you drive a hybrid car last year?

Me: (blink) Seriously?

Tyler: What? They ask!

Me: I made 10 grand last year, how the heck could I afford a new hybrid car?

Tyler: So no... okay

Me: Oooh! But I did donate $15 to a wildlife fund that says they're trying to save the polar bears...

Tyler: Great. There's no box for that.

Me: son of a...

The other fun thing about e-filing is you see immediately see how things affect (effect? who the hell can explain the rule on that one) your refund. A little box in the top shows your current refund total and it will literally roll up or down like a slot machine. The more W2's I added, the more it seemed to plummet. Especially when I added the $700 tax-free work I did as a freelance writer. That really, really sucked up my refund. My reaction was of course one of maturity and wisdom...

Me: WHAT IN THE HELL?

Tyler: It's tax free work. You have to pay on that eventually.

Me: (sputtering) Nu uh!

We finally finished and I was naturally a little grumpy.

Me: (pouting) So why do we even get a big hundred-some dollar refund. Why don't they just take the correct amount in the first place and leave us alone?

Tyler: Think of it like this. You helped the country by providing the government with an interest free loan last year.

Me: Are you kidding me? I made 10 grand! They should have given ME a loan.

The good news. 2008 has found me in a steady 40+ a week job with a decent wage so next year I will feel less like an impoverished ragamuffin when I file again.

For those of you lucky enough to get a refund or substantial "economic stimulus" check... do you have any fun plans?

My life as expressed in cats

Below is how I reacted when my alarm went off at 6 am this morning

(watch that your sound isn’t too high)



This is what I’m now doing at my desk

ND makes news today on CNN

For a mummified dinosaur... see! Our state IS interesting!

:)

Excited for Wall E

I've seen movie previews for WALL-E for months but they've all been very non-descript. Like this one:



Even knowing that little, I knew I wanted to see it. An adorable, goofy robot with a soft spot for small animals! What's not to love here?

Then today I saw a new preview came out which revealed TONS more of the plot.



I think it looks like so much fun! But then, I've always been a sucker for those Pixar films.

Embarassing side note: I like to make Tyler do the robot "Wall-E" voice.

Also excited for "Get Smart" which Christy plugs on her blog!

***

This week in March

First item of business.... I'd like to go on record and say that Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a boil on the butt of humanity. First off this week, she went on MSNBC to say that we shouldn't be shocked at the Gov. Eliot Spitzer prostitute scandal because:

"When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs."

I'd like to take a moment and say a prayer for Dr. Laura-- because I feel so very SORRY FOR HER. The men in her life must be a serious breed of lame-ass if they'll jump into another woman's bed just because they don't feel 'hero worshipped' enough.

I mean, seriously, that’s just not giving men enough credit. I know some amazing men and they do not deserve this type of bad PR. Ladies, if you ever hear: "Well I had to go to the prostitutes, honey. You weren't praising my ego and giving me enough sex." -- IT'S A LINE. HE'S A LOSER. RUN AWAY.

Only in Dr. Laura land is it your job to give up your happiness to please "your man," lest he run off and find happiness elsewhere. Reason # 1,956,492,001 why feminism benefits women AND MEN. Feminists see men as our allies, friends and lovers in an equal and healthy relationship-- not as an extra child to dote on and kowtow too (who's also so pathetic and sex-driven, he'll run off if you turn your back for a second).

Part II of 'Dr. Laura is a butt boil':

She called Brett Favre names because he cried during his retirement press conference saying of him, “All these years, and I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL”:

"Brett Favre ... we're watching this in the studio, obviously retiring from the NFL, great quarterback, handsome 38-year-old man, he gets up there and he does this press conference that was frankly one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen...That's a great message for young boys. 'Get up there and act like a girl and start blubbering like a baby."

Well isn’t that just the epitome of class? Yeah this guy didn’t think so either.

Anyway. I’ve had it with that doorknob.

What else? This week in our "Emily needs a dream" segment we discuss a potential new job idea--- So, as many of you know-- I am currently a receptionist doing nothing of significance and having a crisis of conscious about what I can do to "bring my light to the world" (as mom would say). So here's this week's DREAM JOB:

Movie reviewer: I love movies. It would be seriously kick ass to talk about movies for a living. I bet I'd have a unique view to bring to the table: A young, feminist, female examines it all (except for horror movies because they give her nightmares). Last week I saw Penelope and Juno-- and had a good time with both.

Ooh I could also review TV shows and books -- but not music. I'm terrible with music. I'm the opposite of a music snob. I'll be the first to admit that some of the music I listen to is complete and utter garbage. Yes I work out to Britney Spears-- don't judge me-- it has a good beat and it keeps my ass on the treadmill!

Speaking of amazing television. The TV show Veronica Mars is amazing. I first blogged about it in 2005. The third season just came out on DVD and I just finished the whole thing and now want to cry.

Veronica Mars was amazing. Seriously. AMAZING. Did I mention AMAZING?
- It had a hilarious, funny, female protagonist.
- It had iteresting characters and plot lines, many that touched on important political themes like child soldiers, sexual assault, divorce, youth violence, drugs and gang culture
- It had the perfect (PERFECT!) blend of drama, comedy and mystery and just plain awesomeness

Sadly it was misused by its network, not promoted and shuttled around to many different time slots, thereby confusing the audience. In May of 2007 it aired its last episode and was cancelled so that new, fine programming (like reality TV about pussycat dolls) could air on the CW.

I was angry before, but after watching the DVD extras (which included the creative pitch for the season 4) I am FURIOUS. Season 4 looked amazing. And it just makes it that much more infuriating that instead of having a fun TV show to watch once a week, I get crap. Thanks corporate media conglomerate. For fans of the show -- or people curious to take a look. Here are the first 5 minutes of what would have been episode 1 of season 4.


You can tell based on video quality and short intro that it would have been tweaked. We also jumped from Veronica the college years to Veronica at the FBI but it still looks great. I wish wish wish that show would come back. Like I'm sickly obsessed! Seriously. If I had terminal cancer and Make a Wish came by to grant me a wish, I might pull a Family Guy and make my wish, "BRING BACK VERONICA MARS!" Or maybe I'd go to Europe.

Last note to leave you on. I am generally pretty horrified of American Idol but tend to watch it anyway as it seems to be on when Tyler and I are eating dinner and watching TV. This past week, some Carrie Underwood-wannabe butchered the Beatles... and this resulted.


May God have mercy on her soul.

PS: GO ELLEN!

Also... tomorrow my parent's arrive to go with me to a Celtic Festival. We're gonna eat potatos and listen to bagpipes so its pretty much gonna rock.

**BIG UPDATE**

SO I was mistaken. Dr. Laura Schlessinger did not make the comment about Brett Favre. That was another conservative Laura, radio host Laura Ingraham. Still a butt boil :)

Things I've learned this week

--I need to order happier movies. First it was Rendition (really good but HUGE bummer). Then I got Munich in the mail but I've had it at home for nearly a month and have only seen the first 40 minutes. Ugh. I just bit the bullet and sent Syriana back (didn't even OPEN that one). I am tired of movies about war, torture and assassinations. I moved all happy movies up on my netflix queue. I have the Nanny Diaries up next along with August Rush. Color me optimistic.

-- Little things make me happy. All week long I think I've been to 3 places. Work, my apartment and the grocery store. And I'm perfectly content with that. I enjoy reading books, watching my favorite shows, making dinner and going to bed early. No harm being lame, right? Except I have to get off my butt and add the YMCA to my list of stops or that membership is nothing more than a fat tax.

-- Winter driving gives me heartburn. I was in GF this weekend for my dad's birthday and had to leave for Fargo on Sunday. The 70 some miles took approx. 2 hours and I was honest to God going 30 at some points on the interstate. Not cool. Also if the temperature doesn't go above freezing and stay there, I may just lose my mind and drive my car through a building.

-- Wisdom comes from cookies. The other day a fortune cookie told me, "You will be successful someday." And I took it to work and laminated it! Now every time I'm assigned some menial receptionist task, I look at it and tell myself to breathe.

And to leave you with something fun... I want to try that stuff!