This week in March

First item of business.... I'd like to go on record and say that Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a boil on the butt of humanity. First off this week, she went on MSNBC to say that we shouldn't be shocked at the Gov. Eliot Spitzer prostitute scandal because:

"When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs."

I'd like to take a moment and say a prayer for Dr. Laura-- because I feel so very SORRY FOR HER. The men in her life must be a serious breed of lame-ass if they'll jump into another woman's bed just because they don't feel 'hero worshipped' enough.

I mean, seriously, that’s just not giving men enough credit. I know some amazing men and they do not deserve this type of bad PR. Ladies, if you ever hear: "Well I had to go to the prostitutes, honey. You weren't praising my ego and giving me enough sex." -- IT'S A LINE. HE'S A LOSER. RUN AWAY.

Only in Dr. Laura land is it your job to give up your happiness to please "your man," lest he run off and find happiness elsewhere. Reason # 1,956,492,001 why feminism benefits women AND MEN. Feminists see men as our allies, friends and lovers in an equal and healthy relationship-- not as an extra child to dote on and kowtow too (who's also so pathetic and sex-driven, he'll run off if you turn your back for a second).

Part II of 'Dr. Laura is a butt boil':

She called Brett Favre names because he cried during his retirement press conference saying of him, “All these years, and I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL”:

"Brett Favre ... we're watching this in the studio, obviously retiring from the NFL, great quarterback, handsome 38-year-old man, he gets up there and he does this press conference that was frankly one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen...That's a great message for young boys. 'Get up there and act like a girl and start blubbering like a baby."

Well isn’t that just the epitome of class? Yeah this guy didn’t think so either.

Anyway. I’ve had it with that doorknob.

What else? This week in our "Emily needs a dream" segment we discuss a potential new job idea--- So, as many of you know-- I am currently a receptionist doing nothing of significance and having a crisis of conscious about what I can do to "bring my light to the world" (as mom would say). So here's this week's DREAM JOB:

Movie reviewer: I love movies. It would be seriously kick ass to talk about movies for a living. I bet I'd have a unique view to bring to the table: A young, feminist, female examines it all (except for horror movies because they give her nightmares). Last week I saw Penelope and Juno-- and had a good time with both.

Ooh I could also review TV shows and books -- but not music. I'm terrible with music. I'm the opposite of a music snob. I'll be the first to admit that some of the music I listen to is complete and utter garbage. Yes I work out to Britney Spears-- don't judge me-- it has a good beat and it keeps my ass on the treadmill!

Speaking of amazing television. The TV show Veronica Mars is amazing. I first blogged about it in 2005. The third season just came out on DVD and I just finished the whole thing and now want to cry.

Veronica Mars was amazing. Seriously. AMAZING. Did I mention AMAZING?
- It had a hilarious, funny, female protagonist.
- It had iteresting characters and plot lines, many that touched on important political themes like child soldiers, sexual assault, divorce, youth violence, drugs and gang culture
- It had the perfect (PERFECT!) blend of drama, comedy and mystery and just plain awesomeness

Sadly it was misused by its network, not promoted and shuttled around to many different time slots, thereby confusing the audience. In May of 2007 it aired its last episode and was cancelled so that new, fine programming (like reality TV about pussycat dolls) could air on the CW.

I was angry before, but after watching the DVD extras (which included the creative pitch for the season 4) I am FURIOUS. Season 4 looked amazing. And it just makes it that much more infuriating that instead of having a fun TV show to watch once a week, I get crap. Thanks corporate media conglomerate. For fans of the show -- or people curious to take a look. Here are the first 5 minutes of what would have been episode 1 of season 4.


You can tell based on video quality and short intro that it would have been tweaked. We also jumped from Veronica the college years to Veronica at the FBI but it still looks great. I wish wish wish that show would come back. Like I'm sickly obsessed! Seriously. If I had terminal cancer and Make a Wish came by to grant me a wish, I might pull a Family Guy and make my wish, "BRING BACK VERONICA MARS!" Or maybe I'd go to Europe.

Last note to leave you on. I am generally pretty horrified of American Idol but tend to watch it anyway as it seems to be on when Tyler and I are eating dinner and watching TV. This past week, some Carrie Underwood-wannabe butchered the Beatles... and this resulted.


May God have mercy on her soul.

PS: GO ELLEN!

Also... tomorrow my parent's arrive to go with me to a Celtic Festival. We're gonna eat potatos and listen to bagpipes so its pretty much gonna rock.

**BIG UPDATE**

SO I was mistaken. Dr. Laura Schlessinger did not make the comment about Brett Favre. That was another conservative Laura, radio host Laura Ingraham. Still a butt boil :)

Depressing news and my thoughts on drugs

Some might say that I'm too interested in pop-culture. And they'd likely be right on the money. I have an obsession with movies-- love to watch them, would love to review them one day. After finishing a film, I often go look it up on imdb.com and read all the trivia, bios of actors, directors etc.

So I was beyond shocked yesterday when we lost an A-list star.

I was at work when, *PING* a pop up window opened. My co-worker types to me, in all caps, "HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD!!!!!"

Immediately I surfed over to cnn.com to confirm the news. I can't say why it made me so sad. It's just such a waste. Details are still fuzzy but supposedly Ledger was found with two bottles of sleeping pills nearby.

Just last week, another young actor, Brad Renfro, lost his life. I remember him fondly from Disney movie "Tom & Huck" and also more serious roles in "The Client" and "Sleepers." Renfro's death is widely believed to be drug-related as well.

..... sigh....

Last night I was rearranging furniture in our apartment and I had the TV on for comfort noise. My silly Vh1 show ended and on came "Celebrity Rehab." I can't handle shows like that. I think it's great to go to rehab and get help, and if you want to put it on TV in hopes of educating others, fine, but I hate watching it.

I'll never forget the night I watched one of those reality shows, "Intervention." They profiled this alcoholic woman who'd lost her children. She got piss drunk on vodka and laid on her floor wailing, "my babies... my babies."

Sorry. No. Can't handle it. Just too frickin' sad.

I can't understand the drug problem in this country. Why would anyone ever do drugs? I get that people have horrible depression, pain and memories they want to escape ... but seriously? You want to turn to THAT to help you? Then again, I'm the girl who freaked when the dentist gave her laughing gas. Clearly, I'm not a fan of feeling higher than a kite.

It's hard to hold empathy in your heart when you don't understand something. There are times when I look at drug addicts on those shows like "Celebrity Rehab" or "Intervention" and I feel anger at them. Here they are, living in a America with apparently enough money to buy copious amounts of drugs. And they're surrounded by caring family who seem willing to do anything to save them. And yet all they want to do is shoot up and cry about how horrible their life is. There are people in corners of this world (Iraq, Darfur...) who know what hell truly is-- and here you are creating your own hell at home-- simply because you can. It's maddening.

On the other hand. We all have our unhealthy vices we turn to. When life gets tough, some turn to casual sex, binge drinking at the bar to blow off steam, self-harm habits like cutting or shopping sprees with money we don't have. Me? I eat chocolate-- and often more than is necessary. Healing with food may not be comparable to healing with heroin but point is, we all make some bad choices in effort to mask pain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, while I don't understand AT ALL, giving your life to drugs (of any kind) I do understand losing your way, and from what I've read, Ledger was going through some troubled times. It's miserable to think of such a young, handsome, talent gone-- taken from his daughter before she turned 3 and before he turned 30.

I think stuff like this hurts, not because I love the movie/entertainment culture, not even because I had a crush on Ledger back in the 10-things-I-hate-about-you days.... but because I know people like Ledger, who drove their lives into the ground and left us far too soon. And I can recognize.... there but for the grace of God go I.

I want to leave you with this clip. It was on You Tube's "most watched" homepage this morning--


It's nice to remember someone smiling, laughing and talking about their children.

I'm officially old

Tyler and I flipped on MTV to catch the VMAs. Our attitude was "ahhh, why not?" But we were in for a shock.

Turns out... I got old. Yep, I saw the writing on the wall as I watched this show. First of all-- too many flashing lights/colors and quick cuts of the camera. Tyler muttered something about 'inducing seizures.' Then there were all the musical "artists" (and I think we know I use that term loosely) who neither Tyler or I had heard of before.

But watching Britney Spears was most painful. I felt sorry for the woman. She looked completely uncomfortable writhing around, crotch-grabbing in her sequin-bra and panties. Read a great description of it here.



Perhaps I'm giving Britney too much credit, but I could almost see her thinking, "What the hell am I doing? How is this making me look good?"

Seriously. I honestly feel bad for Britney Spears. She's just the trainwreck everyone likes to take pot shots at-- like Sarah Silverman-- who said after she left the stage, "she accomplished everything she'll ever accomplish by the age of 25." And then went on to make a crude comment about her vagina. Earth to Sarah Silverman, you are awkward and not funny. Not that I'm a Britney fan, I just really dislike Sarah Silverman.

Before I turn off this garbage, I must say one thing DID make me laugh-- the girls from "the Hills" reality TV show presented Justin Timberlake with an award and his comment was, "MTV, play more videos, we're tired of these bad reality programs."

HA!

The post with too much stuff

Warning: This post contains several you tube videos, photos and links... and also was written when I was not feeling so good... take it or leave it...

First Rant: I need to NOT watch the news. It's making me a crazy person. Not only that, I need to stop reading the local paper. There's been nonsense in this area for weeks regarding a statue of the Ten Commandments on public property. Grrrrrrr! If I have to read one more letter to the editor about how "you either follow God or follow Satan" I am going to personally track these people down and beat their door down with a Bible so they can read it. Like, really read it. I am not personally offended by the Commandments or anything-- but they obviously have no place on public property.

Second Rant: MEDIA and Paris Hilton. I really like this woman anchor, Mika Brzenzinski... when she loses it over the Paris Hilton story.


Okay enough ranting. You have to forgive me cause I'm in a bad place --- womanly speaking. I want to go to Target and buy a kiddie pool and fill it with Ben&Jerry's ice cream. Would that be so wrong? I ask you-- Grrrr.

Not much is new with me. Working away -- enjoying hanging with the delinquents. I also like to amuse myself with some new endeavors that include:

Gardening: Obviously I have no garden—merely a second floor apartment. I have a window box with petunias and butterfly daises (which are a little tired looking at the moment) and a pot with Gerber daisies and white geraniums. So far I haven’t killed any of them. They bring me joy. I also have two pet rocks.



Shopping: I have a problem. Really! But I am enjoying adding new and crazy stuff to my wardrobe. My latest funny purchase – a 3 foot tall lighted palm tree (it serves as an excellent nightlight) and a necklace that reads “F-BOMB.” Every time I put it on, I feel better. *click to enlarge to see FBOMB in all her glory*





Being excited: There are lots of things I’m excited about. It’s summer and therefore nice out, so that in itself is exciting. Fourth of July is coming up and that should be good. Also in July, there’s a wedding in the cities. I enjoy weddings. There is good food, fun clothes, dancing- does it get better? Then in September Laura & Jim get married--- HOORAY! Also happening in September, my internship is done (sad) but I will likely start a new job then (exciting).

You know what excites me the most? ***********Harry Potter********. Yeah. I’m a nerd. The movie and the book have me totally psyched. If anyone ruins either with spoilers, I will smoosh them. Well you can’t really spoil the movie, seeing as how I’ve read the book -- but the last book... NO ONE give away ANYTHING. You hear me?!

Lastly I love Elizabeth Edwards for standing up to Ann Coulter. I’m so sick of Coulter’s nasty, school-yard bully behavior.



I also love Kathy Griffin for skewering Coulter— scratch that-- I just love Kathy Griffin in general.

My letter to Paris Hilton

I have a growing list of celebrities that I really adamantly dislike:

Donald Trump -- asshole with bad hair. I base the "asshole" diagnosis on the Rosie feud and pretty much every interview I've seen him do.
P. Diddy -- or whatever his name is now. Hate every single thing about him.
Dustin Diamond -- Have you seen Celebrity Fit Club (where he is a MAJOR jerk and whining about/promoting his porn)? Or for that matter, have you seen Saved by the Bell, where he also sucked.
Quentin Tarintino -- This classy dude spits on people and his resume is full of movies featuring mostly naked chicks-- oh yeah, and they mostly get tortured.
Eddie Murphy --Seriously he nearly ruins Shrek for me. I hate his treatment of his former girlfriend-- denying he's the father of her child (classy) and watch a preview of his Norbit movie, that's all I have to say.

And lastly I cannot STAND
Paris Hilton

Now, that being said. I feel sorry for her right now. It's like America is full of people who are still bitter at the bitchy, pretty girl from high school. So we take it out on her.

So here is my message for her.


~~~~~

Dear Paris,

Calm down. You need to calm down. I realize life is very hard in prison but you aren't in frickin Iraq. You're in a jail cell. You broke the law. It happens. Try and take this time to read some books. Keep up on your correspondence and learn how to go 48 hours without getting your picture taken or going to a party.

For the record, I do think it sucks that everyone is making a big circus out of this ordeal. I'd probably cry in the back of a cop car too. I'm sorry everyone is posting that picture of you everywhere.

You know what the best revenge is? Grow up! Stop giving them fodder for calling you a baby. You'd really be famous for actually handling this well. Besides, if you calm down I might quit hearing about this craziness.

Sorry, I guess that's selfishness on my part. That's so NOT hot of me.

XOXO

Sicko

I don't care how you feel about Michael Moore I think EVERYONE should catch this movie. I am so excited to see it. Health care & insurance in America is terrible and I look forward to Moore's exposure of it.

PS: What exactly does George W THINK women do with OBGYNS?

AMEN!!!!!!!

KICK ASS GIRL

Poor little celebrity

This article gave me a headache-- because of all the eye rolling!

Leonardo DiCaprio says the movie Titanic “objectified” him and made him feel like a piece of “cute meat.”

Um. Get over it.

You ARE cute. You played Jack, a romantic lead who said things like “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me” as you froze to death. Tween girls want a guy that looks like Leo. They also want a guy who’s hero enough to give up their only bit of driftwood so we don’t freeze our ass off in the Atlantic. So some girls put a picture of you on their bedroom wall--- how does that make you any less of a serious actor?

And if we want to talk objectification let’s recall Titanic. If memory serves, I believe it was Kate Winslet who did full frontal nudity in that movie. I mean, really, and while I think Winslet has the most smokin’ body in Hollywood, she has to constantly endure the patronizing Hollywood press “congratulating” her on her “courage to be fat in the entertainment industry.”

And really, has Leo been typecast? No. I have seen him in no romantic comedies or any traditional “romantic” roles since Titanic. He’s done:

The Beach
The Aviator
Catch me if you Can
Gangs of New York
The Departed
Blood Diamond

Yep, don’t see much romance in there. I’m sure scripts came across his desk for romance but he chose to ignore them because he was a big enough star—THANKS TO TIANIC. Sure he had critical acclaim from earlier roles in “Romeo and Juliet” and “Basketball Diaries” but it was Titanic that made him a millionaire and a recognized name.

Here’s my theory, Leo… you got sick of all the guys making fun of you for playing a “softie” role in major chick flick like Titanic. Well stop it, we get it. You’re a big tough macho man. You go to basketball games, play hardened cops in Scorsese films and date hot models like Gisele Bundchen. We get it, you’re too cool for Jack Dawson. But don’t bite the hand that feeds you and certainly don’t talk smack about movies that made you a star.

And on a personal note, I’m hurt! Titanic was a huge awakening for me in 7th grade. It was the first movie romance that made me cry so hard it hurt. To me there was nothing more beautiful than the love that would “never let go.” Leo, you better watch it or I’ll go all Rose DeWitt Bukater on your ass. Oh yeah, she was feisty, she’d beat you up!