Blogging at work

Thank god I can get wirless internet here. It is dead in this mall. Dead dead dead. Just me sitting at a desk listening to piped in music of Natalie Merchant ("I walk these streets in carnival"). Not so delightful but beats working my butt off somewhere else. Can't complain I guess. I'm more than ready to go home and call it a day but after this have to head to Herald to work on my other job, then hopefully I can see Heathersita. There's just not enough time for friends in my life lately so it would be great to see her.

Random change of subject-- The other night I was lying in my room and all of a sudden I got really sad. Sad that I wasn't a little kid anymore living in my parent's house with mom and dad across the hall. It passed quickly. I love being an adult, grown up with my own tiny little apartment. Sometimes I love letting it get messy just so I can come home and roll my eyes at it and clean it up again. It's my little place and it's glorious. But I hope I'm not alone that sometimes I miss that security of being a child. I guess this is better but I feel vunerable often. Like I'm not trying enough, not learning enough, not being all that I can be (for lack of better wording).

Ah well. After December I have a whole new ballgame to compete in, then I have to decide if I'm ready to give up this bit of independence I've earned and move back in with someone... namely Tyler. We shall see. At times it makes so much sense. I love seeing him at the end of day and talking with him and other days obviously we want to be apart. As long as we each have our own TV and bedroom we should be fine. He watches Twins baseball, I watch Project Runway and we have differing opinions on what constitutes a "decent" hour for sleep. But he's my best friend and I think it's the next step in this relationship business. We shall see.... like I said. Okay. No more of this talk.

October is starting out funny. It feels like summer outside. Warm temps and doesn't really smell too autumn-ie most of the time. The leaves are turning and falling but I haven't had that first "whoa it's fall" feeling yet. This is my favorite time of year. I always wish I could write poetry. It also means the school year will be over in 8.2 seconds. Once it hits midterm time you blink and miss it! I just got the okay from the Dean that I am cool to graduate in December providing I pass all my classes. SAY WHUT?! Hooray! In four years too, that was my goal! It's been a rocky journey but I did it (knock on wood... unless I fail my Shape Up class).

Well I've listened to Justin Timberlake's CD and so far I feel very "eh" about it. The few songs I've heard of Fergie's also feel so-so. My next try will be Snow Patrol cause I like the song they have on the radio. Still jammin to Beyonce. I enjoy "Get me bodied" -- it's good to listen to during "Shape Up" class. I remembered that I love Brandi Carlisle and have been listening to her as well. Current fave song she does: "Fall Apart Again"

You fall apart again and you can find a friend
Don't turn to someone else because they won't understand...

Self respect, goes unexpressed
I don't dream because I cannot sleep
And I think the world of myself
But the world doesn't think much of me
As long as the day is full of time,
there will always be room for your hand in mine

You fall apart again and you can't find a friend
Don't turn to someone else because they won't understand
I don't want to hear
You say that you miss yesterday
If you don't like what you see
That means nothing to me

If you know of any music you think I'd enjoy please leave some ideas in my comment page!

Tyler made fun of me for watching Titanic last night. I just felt like seeing it again. It's been nearly 10 years! I thought of it because Showbiz Tonight was interviewing Kate Winslet about something and showed a clip of her acting in Titanic. So I had to watch it. Okay, confession time.... It still makes me cry!!! It's funny, I remember being seriously depresseed after I saw that movie in seventh grade! I was so in love with Jack Dawson, not Leo... Jack the character. There's something about the idea that a man you've never met will look at you and see all your potential and love you even though you're hanging off the back of a ship, all messed up and distressed. He basically died for Rose and with his dying breath wished the best for her. When you're in seventh grade it doesn't get much more romantic than that. I still think it's beautiful actually.

The movie is a fave of mine just for the emotional ties I have to it. I did have some questions upon watching it again. If being down that low in the ocean has a pressure of so many tons then how come we can recover Kate Winslet's frail little hair clips from the wreckage? Wouldn't they have exploded in the depths? Hmmmm. Too much time on my hands here at work. The place next door has let the phone ring about 23 times now. I am going to go answer it for them and throw it at them!! HONESTLY. Ringing phones bug me. Turn it off or pick it up!