Muppets!!

It's a Christmas tradition that mom and I watch some of our fave movies. Last night was White Christmas. Today I pulled out my brand new DVD of Muppet Christmas Carol. I do so love that movie. It has some great quotes:

Gonzo: I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp

Rizzo the Rat: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!

So many more...

It's also a fun musical-- what better than singing muppets with happy Christmas messages?

Well imagine my fury when I got to what I think is one of the most touching songs of the movie, and poof-- the song was gone! Apparently Disney execs thought the ballad "The love is gone" was too long and would be "boring" for kids. It's the song young Belle sings to Scrooge when she realizes that he will not marry her.

It's such a powerful part of the story because older Scrooge (played by Michael Cane) looks back on one of his biggest mistakes with tears in his eyes. He comes up behind the woman he once loved and starts to sing with her:

It was almost love
It was almost always
It was like a fairy tale we'd live out, you and I
And yes, some dreams come true
And yes, some dreams fall through
And yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye

Yes, some dreams come true
And yes, some dreams fall through
Yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye...........

It always made me cry because as he sings with her, he starts to weep as he realizes what his cold heart has cost him.

YES, that's right-- I cry during Muppet movies! Don't judge me!

I was so upset when the song was missing. Plus it was a really awkward cut. I immediately went online and found an entire community of other muppet fans who were as incensed as I. But I learned that if I click "full screen," I get my song. Okay, I guess I won't write that angry letter to Disney. But seriously, what's the world coming to?

Ah, happy Muppet Music:
Life is full of sweet surprises, everyday's a gift
The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my sprit
It fills me up with laughter, it fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love and know that I belong

Bless us all, who gather here
The loving family I hold dear
No place on Earth, compares with home
And every path will bring me back from where I roam

Bless us all, that as we live
We always comfort and forgive
We have so much that we can share
With those in need we see around us everywhere

Let us always love each other
Lead us toward the light
Let us hear the voice of reason
Singing in the night

Let us run from anger
And catch us when we fall
Teach us in our dreams and please, yes, please
Bless us one and all

Bless us all with playful years
With noisy games and joyous tears
We reach for you, and we stand tall
And in our prayers and dreams we ask you bless us all

Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry freakin' Christmas!

Yay! I don't work tomorrow! I have worked constantly lately (gotta love retail) but they can't make me work tomorrow... errr-- today. Because it's Christmas! Hooray! Life has been crazy busy lately. I really need to finish my thank-you notes from graduation and every piece of silverware I own is currently dirty. Ah well.

Friday we celebrated Heather's upcoming wedding. We brought in a passion party consultant! Scandalous! I had no idea the sex industry was so lucrative. We had a good time hooting and hollering at various--err-- instruments that once turned on, lit up and vibrated all over the place. Quite amusing. I think we sent Heather off in style.

Retail adventures have occupied the rest of my time. Worked all day today and dealt with mostly frazzled-looking men who bought anything you threw at them. We had a few women come in today but they were really snotty. They kept whining, "Ugh, I can't believe how picked over you are!" Um-- it's Christmas Eve? Dweebs.

Mom, Dad and I kept our usual Christmas Eve tradition of very laid back style. We had to wake dad up to open presents (he worked from 6am-4pm and then went back in tonight at midnight). We all got some nice things. I made mom a fleece tie quilt that I am quite proud of, she is at this very moment snoring under it in the chair next to me. Mom and dad surprised me by buying the ottoman that goes with the sofa Tyler and I just bought. He and I are really happy to have made our first big-kid purchase together. And it's super comfy! When we move in, I invite you all to come over and try it out.

The fam and I have been snacking all night on our meat and cheese tray, shrimp dip and cookies. Very healthy of course. Tomorrow we'll have our traditional Mexican enchilada dinner. I love the holidays! Tonight was tough for me. I try so hard to find peace in my heart when I'm in church, but the last few years I mostly feel anger, frustration and an overwhelming urge to get up and leave. Not the fault of my pastors. Just where I'm at in life and how I feel about mainstream Christianity as a whole. During the solo of "O Holy Night" I realized I was really just angry with God--which is stupid and unfair and unhealthy. But I just can't help feeling like God could really be doing a better job in some cases. Why do things happen like they do? Why do I have such crippling anxiety? Why did Jake's sister die in that car accident? Why did God take Jason when he was such a sweet kid who had so much to offer? He fought so hard against cancer and everyone prayed so hard... it makes me so mad.

Ah well, that's a whole 'nother conversation and far too serious--- After church I felt antsy but cookies and White Christmas helped out. I really am happy that it's Christmas, I just wish I had God hanging around so I could ask her some personal questions is all :)

Very excited for the next few days. I work a bit more then David and Brian come to town-- my favorite boys-- hooray! In fact, lots of fun folks are in town, Ainsley, Hunter, Christy-- lots of people to see. In less than a week Heather and Aaron get married, then I am moving! Big adventures. Hopefully I can be controlled less by anxiety and have more courage.

Gotta go or I'll miss the finale of White Christmas-- it always makes me cry.

Merry Christmas to all!!!

PS: Special shout out to Spence who just found my blog, I love you! Merry Christmas to P-town! :)

I love this song

Mat Kearney "Girl America" ~~~ I love this song. I love the message of empowerment and freedom mixed in with Christianity-- it's so good!

My girl America is just a youth in this world
Her smile is more precious than the sparkle of pearls
And though her age reads shes just a young girl
Age behind her eyes show the pain that she's swirled
Through the hand that's been dealt though it's quiet as kept
The weight was all felt last night as she slept
And as she crept into the dreams of the things of her past
seems to have grown so fast, way beyond her own class
though they're right there with her, hers brothers and her sisters
A natural born leader even when her peers diss her
My girl, she's at a crossroads, people praying for her
Some are preying on her magazine ad's, sex, drama, smoking marajuana
Longing for a father to call her 'daughter'
She's part of a generation longing for reconciliation
And this future that they're facing and this poison that they're tasting
My girl, I know it's love that your chasing

(Chorus) My girl America's crying when she's lying on her bed at night
I can see that she's screaming when she's dreaming for freedom
My girl America's dying while she's trying hard to stop this fighting
Don't stop believing, my girl America

Boys with hungry eyes have been knocking at her door
Telling her that's whats she's for, trying to rob her at her core
Then leave calling her a whore, but still she knows there's more
I know she knows there's more because there's a voice she can't ignore
'Cause it was founded in the foundations, from the day of her creation
In God we trust engraved in the treasures of her nation
And the void the boys can't fill
With the tippin' of the bottle or the poppin' of the pill
But still most of her friends don't care as they glare
ready to drown the funnel as they frown down the tunnel
As the stumble and they tumble breaking down into rubble
My girl America, can't you see
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be
But how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way
It's for you that I pray with hope for a brighter day
So I say, your deliverance is comin'

(Chorus)
Faith like a child from your first birth
You left it in the dirt on your worst hurt
And I see each tear in every scar
The hands that have held you where you are
And I can see we've strayed so far
A king born under that morning star
A crown of thorns that was placed to erase
Each tear that touched your face
His palms and sides were pierced with spears
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl not of this world
Can't you see this is where we started

(Chorus)

His palms and sides were pierced with spears
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl not of this world
Can't you see this is where we started...
Where we started....where we started,
my girl America

Who ruined Christmas?

My answer-- EVERYONE fundamentalist. Christians, Jews, whatever-- it's all YOUR fault.

I work in retail and I like to say Happy Holidays because it makes me more comfortable. I try and think how I would feel if I lived in a country where the predominant religion wasn't my own, and I try and be sensitive. If someone says "Merry Christmas" to me first, I return it with a smile on my face. Or, often times I see a woman wearing a cross, which I assume to be a safe, go-ahead to say "Merry Christmas."

One time a woman wished me "Happy Hanukkah" -- I said it right back! With a smile! I want them to have a wonderful holiday season and it's certainly no threat to my Christian faith. I mean really, no one is currently celebrating "Club a baby seal-iday" so I am not troubled!

People have ruined Christmas though by making it another partisan, stupid political issue. I blame Bill O'Reilly. I think he started this whole mess by whining about people saying "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" a year or two ago.

Now fundamentalist rabbis are threatening lawsuits if airports don't take down Christmas trees (which is stupid since the supreme court ruled that secular images like snowmen, trees, Santa and reindeer don't constitute a church/state problem since those aren't church symbols)! And we have nasty Christians brandishing the phrase "MERRY CHRISTMAS" as if it was some sort of weapon.

I know that we've had people in Bath & Body who've gotten a rude glare for saying "Happy Holidays" -- which is pretty big in this part of the world since we are generally a non-confrontational people.

There's talk of some companies requiring people NOT to say "Merry Christmas" to customers. Why can't people cool it? Stop freaking about how people celebrate and for quit having a coronary over a sign about 'Holiday trees' instead of Christmas trees. You'll buy it, take it home and make it YOUR Christmas tree. End of story- no big deal!

I'm tired of apologizing. I apologize constantly for the vocal, visible nut-job Christians. You know the ones who claim "God hates fags" or someone makes the "logical" jump that God hates murder, so they kill an abortion doctor. But dangit, Christmas is one holiday I refuse to be ashamed of-- I don't want to spend all season apologizing for being a Christian who says Merry Christmas.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanza-- what have you. Anything but clubbing seals and I can probably get behind you. Jesus is the reason for my season, but that doesn't mean I'm trying to force him to be the reason behind yours!

Can you ever let go?

I think the hardest thing to acknowledge about this is that I could travel to any corner of this vast world and never find a man like Jason. He's gone and the world is less for it.

I have a friend who often says "everything happens for a reason." But I've never believed that. I agree with my mother, the world is sinful and broken, and sinful and broken things happen because of it. People get sick and they leave us way too soon.

Everyone was better for knowing Jason and not many people can leave the world saying this.

Jason taught me something about living and dying. He must have been afraid at times but he took care of his family and the people around him by keeping a positive spirit and "keepin' on." His family stood together through one of the most unimaginable horrors and it just fills with me hope -- sometimes it's hard to believe but faith and love can conquer our greatest pain and heal us even when medicine fails.

Can you tell I'm excited?

I just keep staring at it.

Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight to help you to determine what is best, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless, having produced the harvest of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.

Whoa!

I have to sell my books back but then I'm pretty much done. I am thrilled but also in this state of uncomfortable panic. I hate change. I am good at life right now-- it's working for me. What if this next step goes horribly wrong?

Moving is scary. Big-kid jobs are scary. What could possibly go wrong, you ask? OH! So many things...

For example: What if I don't make enough money, then I have to borrow from a scary loan shark and end up mixed up with the mob? Then I'd have to go in to witness protection. I bet they'd shut down my blog down so I couldn't accidentally give away details of my new identity and location. Then you'd all be sad right... all two of you who read this :)

Seriously, I think I'm just a little overwhelmed is all. This whole week was just a blur of insanity and now that the smoke is clearing I can really see that my life is about to change. Even though I'm only moving an hour down the road, its a new job, new community and my mom is that much farther away :( I hate that she's 10 minutes away as it is!

I love my family more than anything. My extended family is far away and I don't get to see them nearly enough. I hate that. Life is short and I want to spend as much time near my parents as possible. If I start a family, I want grandma and grandpa to be close by! That's just how I roll. I guess that isn't cool and independent but it's me.

But who knows what the future holds. I could be heading toward something totally unexpected. Hopefully a really well-paying job
:)
The face of a happy, soon-to-be graduate...



YAY FOR BEING DONE!

Am I high?

I'm starting off today with a very short fuse. Not good. I really don't like me when I'm angry, I doubt anyone else will either. Shake it off....

In other news, my apartment seems to have recognized that its time is almost up. Two posters have peeled off the wall of their own free will. As if to say, "It's time to move!" I know, bitches. Just stay on the wall until I'm ready to roll you up! And for pete's sake, quit falling on top of lamps! What the F-- do you want to burn the house down?

Last night my anxiety over finals spun out of control and had me in a cleaning frenzy. I was, for some reason, immeasurably angry by orange spots at the bottom of my bathtub. So I scoured the whole thing with bleach and nearly passed out. Apparently, that bleach smell gets around because when Tyler showed up his exact words were... well I don't remember because I had a bleach high going but something like "Holy geez." I did the window open thing, but not for long (last thing I need are frozen pipes) so I decided the best thing to do would be light candles. CORRECTION-- all the candles I own. Which would be:

6 vanilla
2 sandalwood
1 banana nut muffin
1 frosted cranberry
1 caramel
1 pumpkin spice
and one oil burner burning the scent "cinnamon bun heaven"

Can you tell I work at Bath & Body Works?

Then for awhile my apartment smelled like bleach + a pastry shop on LSD. Now it's back to normal, either that or I burned out the inside of my nose.

Two finals down, two to go and I need to stop being cranky. No wait... people need to STOP making me cranky.

Christmas is here!

I just left my last class in college! I was trying to savor it but I kept nodding off. I am by no means done (got an entire week of finals ahead of me) but the fact remains that my last classroom lecture has come and gone. Oh boy!

I headed off to the union in a daze looking for some lunch. Tyler was busy doing some last minute test studying so I popped into the "De-stress Fest" where I decorated a holiday cookie and a Santa ornament for my mama. Kind of ironic, I think the first day of kindergarten I made her a hand oranament or something and here it is, my last day of college and I give her another one ;) How time does fly.

Other than the fire alarm going off once and blowing out my eardrums, it was very de-stressing. So much now that I feel the need to take a nap before I head back to campus for our documentary on choice.

I'm just in such a Christmas-ie mood now. Probably because mom and I went out and picked out a tree and I bought some Christmas tunes. I love, I repeat LOVE Christmas music. Makes me teary! I'm listening to "I'll be seeing you" by Peggy Lee and my eyes are all watery... WAAA!

I also found an amazing song by Sarah McLachlan that is so pretty... it's actually kind of sad but I love it. It's called "River."

It’s coming on Christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it doesn’t snow here
It stays pretty green
I’m going to make a lot of money
And then I’m going to quit this crazy scene

Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
Teach my feet to fly high

Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

I made my baby cry


I tried hard to help me
No it wouldn’t be at ease
But it left me so naughty made me weak in the knees

Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

But I’m so hard to handle
I’m selfish and I’m sad
Now I gone and lost the best baby that I’ve ever had

Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
Oh I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly highhh

Oh I wish I had a river
That I could skate away on

I made my baby say goodbye
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I'll Be seeing you LYRICS

Ill be seeing you
In all the old, familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through

In that small cafe
The park across the way
The childrens carousel
The chestnut tree
The wishing well

Ill be seeing you
In every lovely, summers day
And everything thats bright and gay
Ill always think of you that way
Ill find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
Ill be looking at the moon
But Ill be seeing you.

M*therF*cker

Sorry. I just felt the need to put that word out there. This word pretty much sums up this week and then finals week... it also sums up how I feel right now.

PS: Papers are so freaking lame

and

PPS: I want to go to bed sooooo badly

I think I can... I think I can

So life is pretty crazy busy right now. A race to graduation -- that's what it is. I've been spending way too much time job searching and not enough doing final projects... so I'll be up a little late tonight finishing up some papers. I wish I could say that after this one, I'm done. But sadly-- no.

Christmas shopping is going pretty well. I have half done and I've officially cut myself off from buying any more for Tyler's niece and nephew. They are tiny and adorable so every time I see cute stuffed animals or books I am like "ohhh, that's perfect." I have to stop! Why can I find 800 gifts for those kids but I can't think of one thing for my dad? I think for Christmas I'll give him his emergency credit card back :)

Now, I really must run along back to schoolwork. Before I go I have one important thing to do. Because I know so many celebrities read my blog, I'll just post this here to save time:

Dear Britney Spears,

Why do you insist on letting me down? When I heard you dumped Kevin Federline, I really had high hopes for you. Dropping Kevin could have been huge for your career! You could finally make yourself into a classier woman. But then you go and ruin it. You take up with the female Kevin Federline... Paris Hilton.

I mean really....

Paris can't sing, she dresses like crap, she's not smart and does nothing to better society. If K. Fed is a pimp then Paris is... well, I don't think I need to go there. I mean, you hang out with her for one day and you're flashing your cooter all over the place.

Britney, Britney, Britney... you really disappoint me. You had a great chance and you go and blow it. Shame on you!