Bad dreams go away!

I woke up a while ago from a terrible nightmare. If I had to name it, it would be:

"Former insecurities"

First I dreamt I was in a high school musical production and all my friends had leads and I was in the back dressed in some horrible leaf outfit and dancing like a freak. Then the director yelled at me for "sucking the life out of the show" and kicked me out. Then everyone laughed. Next I did the weird dream thing, where you segway to an impossibly different place and scenario in no time. I was standing in front of a former high school crush. Still in the leaf outfit naturally and instead of talking, all I could do was burp. Then out of no where, I was in gym class -- and guess what day it was? Oh yeah, the day where you had to run the mile. Also known as Emily finishes last and has an asthma attack day....

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? It was like my own personal "High school's Worst Memories Mega Mix."

Ugh, now that I've been awake for awhile it's kind of funny but I do wonder what triggered that. All those insecurities from high school came flooding back. I guess there's some things you never get over, like feeling not quite as good as your friends, hating yourself for not attracting that one special guy, and LOATHING your bitchy ass gym teacher who thought she was somehow encouraging you to incorporate exercise into your life by taking an allergy-ridden, out-of-shape asthmatic outside and making her run next to skinny blonde people. Some pains die hard. It's nice to laugh about them now, as opposed to crying into my pillow like the old days.

So new topic...

You know what my problem is? Well, there are many, but mostly I can't seem to butt-out at the appropriate time. It's not a good quality, but my ears perk up at drama. It's not that I like to cause drama, but once there is drama, I want to know the story. All the juicy details, and then I get really invested, and I choose sides. The smart thing to do is to walk away and say, "don't tell me, I don't want to know." That's what smart people do, and they stay out of trouble. But on the other hand, my friends can always count on me for righteous anger about stuff. Cause if they have drama, I'll sit right there and be like "OH my gosh! Go on! Let all the anger out. Tell me more about it!"

A friend of mine is having major drama with some people. I have the ardent desire (that's right, I used the word "ardent") to write said people who are giving her all this grief and be like, "Grow up. Do you not understand how the real world works? Quit smoking crack! If you don't quit being a beyotch, I'll squash you."

There, I'll say no more so as not to get myself and this girl into any more trouble. But see! Why am I even involving myself? Cause I have anger issues... not good.

Yesterday was my first day at work. Ultra-scary. I felt clueless and I was alone. The credit card machine refused to work. Bad. Then a lady came in from another country and she didn't know the English words for all the makeup she wanted. Really bad. She wanted an eyebrow pencil with, "How you say, the joushhh on the end?" I stared at her. What the deuce is a "joushh?" So we looked at catalog pictures until she saw a makeup brush and then she pointed all excited "Joushh, joushh!" Okay, I showed her pencils with brushes and she goes "No. Not the putta jousshh the joushh." --- Putta jousshhh? WHA?

So it's hard to sell product you're not that familiar with and even harder when key words are not available to you. I ended up figuring out that she actually wanted an Estee Lauder product. Wow. Not cool.

Must get going, another work day is ahead. This weekend I am escaping to Fargo for a party and some fun but in the meantime, gotta bring home some bacon-- so to speak. I actually hate bacon.