The fire inside me and the heat outside = bad combo

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"It makes life so much more simpler to let God be God, and to try to follow his commandment to love one another."

-My amazing, inspiring mother

Words to live by in so many situations, in this particular situation, she was referring to the gay marriage debate but it's good advice for me in general. For as long as I can recall, I have been getting into trouble by sticking my nose into drama (I've discussed this in previous blog postings). I often read our local newspaper's "mail bag" just to see if someone wrote a letter to the editor I find really upsetting (that way I can write back). It's true!

Last night I left a party early, knowing there would be drama with a certain person there, and sure enough the next day I heard "someone got punched." Now I did the right thing initially. I got out before the drama started but then what did I do? I immediately had to ask someone for all the details of what did happen-- sheesh, why didn't I just stay and witness it firsthand? Oh right, because that would have sucked.... *sigh* I guess I hate drama as much as I love hearing about it.

I think all this nosiness stems from my problem of "wanting to save everyone"-- It's not so much a Christ complex, but possibly a Wonder Woman complex. It definitely has something to do with selfishness. To think I can fix everyone is absurd. But I was always the one standing up on the bus and yelling at kids to quit picking on the nerdy guy. I'm the one who when she sees the "father's rights" group downtown (aka: the "former wife-beaters who want to harass their estranged wives" group) I have to roll down my window and glare at them. I am so full of passion and feeling it just spills out. It spills out in a big, yucky mess. Why can't I be refined and quit pissing people off? Well, at least I just annoy people with opinions, I don't punch people out.

You know, it's funny because I was always a wuss when it came to standing up for myself-- I'm getting much better. The bad comes when you pick on my friends-- watch out. There was a specific incident when I was on a 9th grade church trip... We were all out in the Seattle wilderness doing a service clean-up project and one of my good friends went in to use the port-a-potty. A group of snotty, senior boys came up and started rocking it back and forth. When I heard her screaming inside, something snapped. I ran full force and launched myself onto the back of one of the guys and proceeded to beat him over the head with his own baseball hat. It was quite a spectacle. Now that I'm older than the impetuous 14, I try to curb the violence, but my reaction can be equally as ugly --even in the wise old age of 22 (ha).

Well, enough about drama. The party before the drama was mucho fun with a luau theme. There are some great pics on facebook in the same file that had photos of my house. Here you can see Heather and I enjoying ourselves thoroughly. She is also enjoying my boob. Highlights of the night were seeing a cat wearing a lei and seeing my boyfriend light his straw hat on fire. Damn tiki torches.


Heather, you are naughty!!

Life has been flying by me. Considering July is half over and this next semester is my last before the "real world" hits with full force, it's a wonder I'm not panicking more. What do I mean when I say real world though? I mean, what's really gonna change?

I already live away from home (okay 5 minutes away). I pay my bills *(with help when it gets desperate... which is often)* I already work. I'm already bitching about insurance and taxes. I mean, really I'll just trade obsessing about my class schedule for obsessing over my career. Yikes... career.

Here are some things I realized on the drive home from Fargo today:

--I could never live anywhere hot. It's been 100+ here the past few days and all I want to do is hide in air conditioned places.
-- The song "Drops of Jupiter" by Train makes me cry.
-- I love the song "Ain't too Proud to Beg" and like to sing along
-- When I was young, I was determined to one day own a Winebego, that goal is no more.
-- I wish desperately that I could sing like Kelly Clarkson.. I'm sorry but "Walk Away" rocks my socks off.
-- Mad. I'm mad at whoever came up with the movie "Snakes on a Plane" --flying is scary enough without thinking of snakes on board
-- Childbirth scares me. I used to think C-section might be the way to go, but now I've had abdominal surgery and I know it's no picnic either. Ah! Maybe I'll go Angelina Jolie style and adopt.
-- Why do I keep planning my wedding in my head? I'm not engaged.
-- Could I throw a party and wear a pretty dress instead?
-- Marriage is a scary concept to wrap one's mind around
-- Why do I keep thinking about marriage?
-- The latest Pirates movie was a dissappointment, how can you have Kierra Knightly, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp and make a snooze of a film? Lame.
-- My dream job might be doing voice-overs in animated movies. I could see myself in a Dori-like role. "Just Keep Swimming" :):)

Wishing you drama free days!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that theres time to grow, hey, hey

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
Im afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way

And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way