I'm not gay but...

I get weirdly hypnotized when the PussyCat Dolls are on TV. And I'm pretty sure this is not normal.

This morning I gave up trying to sleep around 7:15. It was an awful night. I chose to quit trying to "fake" sleep and rolled over to go toast a bagel, where I made the ultimate mistake-- I turned on the TV. I was carrying a dirty dish through the living room when I saw the PussyCat Dolls on VH1's countdown.

If you haven't seen the video yet for their new single, "Buttons," I can sum it up pretty quick:.

Little clothes.

tons of hair flipping.

gyrating bodies.

So that's about it. As they sing things like "You been saying all the right things all night long/But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off/Baby, can't you see?" Ahh! Sweet poetry. But I can't be a music snob. For one thing, I'm really not one. If "Toxic" by Britney Spears comes on the radio, I'm definitely cranking it up. Likewise for some PussyCat Dolls music. I'll jam when I hear it because it has a club-like beat.

When you think about it, the PussyCat Dolls could be this generations Spice Girls. Their first single "Don't Cha" is upbeat, comparable perhaps to a "Tell me what you want what you really really want" scenario. Then came the slow ballad, "Stick wit U" -- the Spice Girls had "2 become 1" (let's all pause to shudder at the memory). Both are girl groups and cater to the top 40 scene with songs that make them seem positively ADD. Do you want 2 to become 1 or am I supposed to try harder to "get with your friends." Am I supposed to "loosen up your buttons" or "wish my girlfriend was hotter?" AHH. Oh wait, you're half naked. I'm no longer supposed to have any questions.

Anyway. I find it disturbing when I see this video. Why do I just stare at these women? I think I was transfixed because of sleep loss and fascination at the lack of fat (they jiggle, but nothing on their body does... well, save the boobs)

My thougths run like this:

Sheeyat... Am I supposed to look like this, seriously? Why not quit eating now and in 20 years, I might be ready. Then again I'll still never move that way without throwing my hip out.

I hate these women. I really do.

Why am I still staring, seriously? Just look away. Move to the kitchen do something!

Sick something is wrong with me.

It's over. Thank God. RUN!

(whereupon I go toast my bagel, come back and switch to MTV where I find the music video for.... wait for it... that's right-- PussyCat Dolls-- DAMN!)