Bitches... it's Monday

Ugh. I swear I was just celebrating the fact that I had a free weekend in front of me. Now here I am, in the middle of another school day.

I've already found one professor who is seriously lacking at making class resemble anything close to interesting. A shame since the subject matter could be so interesting. I loathe professors who lecture to no one in particular, jumping all over the place in the timeline of history and then looking annoyed if people aren't following. It's called an outline! Put it on power point, the board, something!!!

I also have zero patience for profs who lecture longer than their allotted time. I've been in classes like that before and consequently have missed shuttle busses that would have gotten me to my next class on time. You are given a 50 minute class, not a minute longer!! Got it?

Sorry. It grinds my gears when profs do that.

It's week 2 of school meaning the workload is picking up but I'm not swamped just yet. Still, I know what's coming and I'm a little concerned. I've noticed that all my classes have papers due at relatively the same time. Joy. That's always fun.

On a sad note...I grabbed the paper today and saw the headline story about the plane crash. This is sad first and foremost because of the devastating loss of life, but also because I have to get on a plane this Thursday and fly to Portland, OR. I had just said the other day that I didn't even remember the last time a plane crashed and many people died (other than world trade center and that wasn't an accident) then BAM. This happened. Makes me sad for the family members and makes me extra nervous to get on my own flight. Doesn't help that flying is so nerve-wracking as is.

Today my mom and I went to Perkins for lunch. I got a "mammoth muffin" with my meal which I'm still trying to finish. It truly is mammoth but it's also dangerous. UND is having a serious wasp problem this year and, it turns out, carrying around a sweet-smelling muffin can make you a target of flying, stinging insects. Lame.

I need to finish my last class and then head to work for a few hours. After which I should buckle down and get some reading done for history. More likely than not, I will make pasta and watch House. This is not a good way to start the semester.

Hmmmm... I think I'm supposed to "apply" to graduate. Maybe I should do that? If I miss the cut-off I will go postal.

Oh snap it's Friday

Hmmm, I've considered it and "oh snap" is a phrase from pop-culture that I canNOT pull off. But I don't care, cause it's FRIDAY! ~~BREAK FOR HAPPY DANCE~~~~. And better yet I don't work this weekend (okay, not good news for the bank account, but happy news for me). It's been a crazy week getting back into the school swing.

First off, something about this time of year makes my body start rebelling against me. The allergies have rendered me useless and have also caused accidents. If you start a sneezing fit while walking, it becomes easy to run over people (that's all I want to say about that). Between dosing myself with large quantities of Benadryl and the rush of first week info (SYLLABUS OVERLOAD) I usually took a 40 minute nap every evening when I got home.

The class topics are as follows:

History -- America since 1945. I've always wanted to take a class like this, because it seemed to me that every history class I took in high school, middle school etc. made us start over at the Revolution and we usually ran out of time around World War I.
History -- Witches: Trials, Hunts and Legend. Very cool topic; very interesting history so far.
English -- Advanced Composition. Thought it would be lame but it looks like we're going to do some very beneficial writing exercises and read some classic essays.
Religion -- Islam in the 21st Century. Helpful info to have these days.
Religion -- Old Testament. Required for my Religion Minor and also interesting.

So that's me. That's what will occupy my time from now until graduation December 15th. Today I was in Barnes & Noble to pick up more school books and couldn't resist a collection of poetry by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I really love her. My current fave from this book is this untitled piece:

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,—so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of him here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

I think it's beautiful. Hopefully there will still be time for poetry even with classes.

There also needs to be time for fun. House M.D. season 2 came out on DVD, so Tyler and I are once again enjoying our favorite TV obsession -- blissfully without commercials. It takes so little to really make me happy. A good poem, a sunny day, a funny tv show and I'm smiling!

This is my first experience living on campus and I've really enjoyed biking to class!! Granted it's not easy on the allergies, but I only need to leave 5-10 minutes before class and I'm cruising down University with the wind in my hair and my Ipod singing. Before, getting to school was nearly a class in itself: Road Rage 101! Parking lots were full, pedestrians strolled out at the last second, crawling along like snails and all the while, I was banging my fist on my steering wheel, watching my digital clock flash the time at me... 1 minute late, two minutes late, ect. Then finally I would park 5 blocks away and curse all the way to class.

Biking is so much better. I'm a little self-conscience with my old 50's style bike (think wicked witch of the west in Wizard of Oz) and I haven't quite figured out how to wear a skirt on a bike and be graceful but oh well. When winter rolls around I will need a new game plan but for now it really is a great way to start the day. My goal is to get pictures of me on the bike and post them here. I look pretty hot.

Random news for the day: I found out my aunt and uncle survived a tornado last night. Actually there were some 30+ tornados that touched down in their county. Their farm is okay, but a few miles in the other direction, their neighbor lost his home and apparently had to cling on for dear life. Scary huh?

Life lesson: Tom Cruise is a classic example of where you DON'T want your life to go... learn from him.

Quote I heard while walking through the Quad today:
Guy #1: "Well, I drank Tuesday, Wednesday, and yesterday. Should we drink tonight?"
Guy #2: "WHOA. Dude! ... Seriously dude... it's Friday"
Guy #1 "Right dude, sorry."

I'm off for now to bask in the glorious Friday afternoon. Love to all!

My last "first"

Today is my first day of my last semester in college. I wish I could say I was really thinking about this one, looking back on the start of kindergarten, high school etc, but mostly I'm just tired. December seems so far off that this day seems hardly more consequential than tax day.

However, I won't be surprised if next thing I know I'm being shoved up on stage to grab my degree. That will be weird. What did I do to get here, really? I vaguley remember reading "Paradise Lost" and taking some weird science classes that I fumbled through. But what did I LEARN?

I think the real gems of knowledge I learned in college came in 85% out-of-class experiences. Watching myself branch out, struggle, fall down, get back up again... Tyler and I were driving around UND the other day and there were kids everywhere! All the dorm lights were blazing and people were standing on the lawn of every frat, conspicuous blue dixie cup in hand. Tyler turned to me and said, "I don't really want to go back but I kind of miss those freshman days when you went out walking every night with your friends and college seemed like such a huge adventure." .... Yeah, I thought... I spent half my freshman year taking mood elevators and sitting in a therapist office trying to figure shit out.

Okay sure, I didn't have that "common" experience, I had my own, and it was an adventure too. It was the "I'm on a rollercoaster and I want to get off and perhaps puke" sort of adventure. But I made it through and it taught me a lot. And by my sophomore year I was ready to hold that blue cup and make a fool out of myself :) Now that this is coming to a close (says the girl who hasn't been to one class yet), I can't help but have doubts.

Did I do all that I should? Was I supposed to travel abroad? Join a sorority? Was I supposed to stay in Lincoln and discover I want to be a botanist, be born again and meet a guy named Todd at Campus Crusade for Christ? HA! Okay that last one probably not, but what if Lincoln was where I was supposed to be? I had never doubted my decision to come back until now, when suddenly I'm re-evaluating all my college decisions thus far!!! Ugh. High school was easier. They put you in every class and you got to pick ONE elective, like either band or auto shop or something.

I guess if I panic and want a college "do-over" I could always just go to grad school :) That's not a slam to you grad-schoolers, just remarking on how funny it would be to tell my parents, "Hey, I think I'll go to grad school" and watch their heads explode.

One hour until I should leave my apartment for class.... oh boy. This means I should get going. Wish me luck and wish me confidence in my decisions.

I need a redbull

Actually I hate redbull but I am so low on energy right now it's ridiculous. I got home today and flopped down on my loveseat and passed out with all the lights blazing. Nevermind that fitting my body on a loveseat required folding myself in half!

I think it's stress.

I'm on the hunt for jobs again (totally lame, I hate job searching). It's really too bad because in a way, I love my job. I work in cosmetics which allows me to really sell a product not just check someone out. I've given makeovers, helped people clear up their skin and helped a cancer patient find the wig that suits her style. It's a great feeling, it sounds cheesy but I really am happy doing stuff that I feel helps people.

Most of the time I work alone which is fine by me, I like the quiet and can always keep busy with projects or reading a book. And I don't have the big corporate pressure to meet sales goals or open credit cards. Sadly the stores hours are very limited and between you and me... (and um, the internet) the money isn't being managed the best and whether or not the store will stay open much longer remains to be seen. Who needs all that noise? Hence, the search.

I walked the mall today and applied a few more places, blah blah blah. I'm getting bored with the scene. I loathe job interviews and hate the first days starting a new job when you're not in a routine yet & it's all that nonsense of "here's where you clock in..." etc. BLECH.

I need an attitude adjustment.

Speaking of negative outlook. I am very non-psyched that school starts on Tuesday. My last semester of college, I should be sentimental but I'm just cranky about buying books and having homework again. Summer just disappeared all of a sudden. I had more books in my summer reading pile and more things I wanted to do. Life goes way too fast. I'm afraid I'm just gonna wake up one day at 50 and be like, "wasn't I just 22?"

The other night my mom and I had a slumber party-- we're cool like that. I made pasta and a salad and we finished with cheesecake. Then we watched V for Vendetta (only one of the best movies ever) and I did a makeover for her. We are pretty much the coolest.

Tomorrow work has the opportunity to either be really fun or terrifying. I'm supposed to do two wedding make-overs and a facial. Granted I have learned a lot about make-up but it's a ton of pressure to do someone's makeup for a wedding!! Especially since I'm doing the make-up and sending them off to get married. Lord, please inspire me to do something pretty.

Ugh. I just ate way too many oreos! Also, I'm in a funk where I can't quite get my fingers to line up with the right keys, hence having to delete every other second... does that happen to anyone else at times? At any rate, this post is exhausting me. I need to go make healthy food and sleep some more.

Ciao.

For the record...

Right now I am...

uber-tired and laying on my bed

dreading getting up for work tomorrow

happy that I work 4 hours instead of 8 like today

becoming more and more obsessed with make-up now that I work in cosmetics

pissed that the Dixie Chicks aren't playing in Fargo anymore. They cancelled a week ago and I'm still bummed.

proud of myself that I didn't succum to laziness and unpacked my suitcase

appalled at how many clothes I own. Seriously. It's astronomical.

and yet pleased that I have so many clothes to choose from

bummed that school starts in one week

excited about the future-- what does life hold after graduation day?

rolling my eyes at the world... 9/11 happened FIVE years ago and all that's changed is that we're in the middle of a terrible war and now I can't bring anything resembling liquid on the plane. Great game plan USA

pumped that Tyler set up his old DVD player in my room. Once I get a fridge, I'll never leave!

so happy I have air conditioning. What did people do back in the day honestly?

dreading a dentist appointment I know I have to make

tired... I am tired. And I need to cut this short.



Coming soon: Pictures from vacation in Minneapolis and descriptions of interesting things (*hopefully interesting*)

Book Quiz

Once again I was hanging around the Morblog. I loved her book quiz and am eager to participate as well.


1. One book that changed your life - Jesus and the Lost Godess. I read it in my junior year of high school and it was like the giant lightbulb moment. It explained Christian Gnosticism and how original Christianity had been perverted in the patriarchal hierarchy of th Roman Catholic Church. It helped me discover the lost Godess and also helped me come to terms with the stuff I found "difficult to digest" in the bible. If anything it made me a stronger Christian.

2. One book you've read more than once -The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I loooove that book.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island - I agree with Christy, "The Bible." I think I'd need that kind of faith to sustain me if I were alone on an island.

4. One book that made you laugh - "The Fat Girl's Guide to Life" was awesome. So many instances I was laughing out loud and realizing I had many of the same experiences the author had. Also the Stephanie Plum series that Janet Evanovich does. It's about a girl bounty hunter who is very bad at her job but usually manages to catch the bad guy. Hilarious sidekicks include her elderly grandma who is always shooting stuff and a former hooker named Lula.

5. One book that made you cry - "Do they Hear you when you cry" also the book "The War on Choice" -- seriously. I got to the chapter about women worldwide who are without the right to choose. One woman in Kenya already had 12 children and was told during her last delivery that if she bore one more child, she would bleed to death. Not having access to contraception, she of course became pregnant again. Her husband was gone and she walked some 60 miles to get to a U.S.-run organization seeking an abortion. Thanks to Bush's new "Global gag rule" they were unable to perform an abortion or even DISCUSS the option with her. She was forced to carry the pregnancy to term and died right after birth, now leaving 13 children as orphans. Many of whom, could likely starve. Knowing that these were the "choices" for some woman worldwide made me feel so helpless.

6. One book you wish had been written - "100 things that are more threatening to your marriage than gay people."

7. One book you wish had never been written - Anything by Ann Coulter. Hate mongering= not cool.

8. One book you are currently reading - "The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women." Also currently re-reading "Female Chauvinist Pigs"

9. One book you have been meaning to read - "Middlesex" I've heard it's so great and I've had it on my shelf for a year now.

Who I'd like to hear from?? My mom, Tyler, David, Sarah, my cousin Lori

Em the Avatar

Thanks to the fabulous Morblog, I've been introduced to Yahoo Avatars. They are so very, very fun. Here I have created myself and I don't think it's half bad. Notice my sweet necklace and nearly perfect glasses!! I also gave myself two pet penguins (in a perfect world I would have them!).

The Morblog is mighty fun, I must say. Through her, I found this hilarious site. Go check it out- I implore you!




PS: One thing I found annoying about Avatars, was originally my template body was this skinny little chick. Um... hello? I was beside myself with excitement when I found a tab that said "plus sizes" -- Hooray, now we're talking. Sadly, yahoo mirrors real life all to well. Whereas skinny Avatar girl had 20+ pages of outfits to choose from, plus size Avatar had 6 outfits total. Damn! Oh well. She's still hot. As am I. Everyone likes a girl with a shape! Round IS A SHAPE! :)

Jammin' out to Fergie

Okay. I don't pretend to have great taste in music. Half the time I fall in love with certain songs and I can't explain why. Like this new song from Fergie for example. I just find it awesome. It's called "London Bride" and it's sassy. I love the line, "I'm such a lady but I'm dancin' like a ho." Heh. Yeah. Everytime I hear that part I have flashbacks to me and my friend Sarah in Portland when we jammed out in the gay club.

Gay clubs are the BEST EVER place for straight girls to go to dance. My first time in a gay club was Portland and they were playing old 80's remixes and I was standing somewhat shyly at the edge of the dance floor and a huge drag queen in a towering red wig came up and grabbed me, "Girlfriend! Shake it. You didn't come out in here in those shoes for nothin' ---WORK IT!" I love it.

Go to this site to hear it the London Bride song!

In 22 days I will be back in Portland with Sarah-- I cannot wait. There will undoubtedly be fun gay club stories from this trip. So stay tuned.

In the meantime, drop me a line. I miss you. Seriously. I have been really busy, so regardless of who you are, I likely miss you!

What I read this week

I just finished this book and I had to write about it. It left such an impression on my heart. I wish I knew someone else who just read it, so I could discuss it at length. The book is over 500 pages long but took me less than a week from start to finish. Once the plot began rolling, I was hooked and 100% invested.

The book is a true account of what happened to Fauziya Kassindja. She was 15 and living in Togo, Africa, when her father died, leaving her in the care of her uncle who removed her from high school and arranged a marriage to a man twice her age (who already had 3 other wives). Her Uncle also explained to her that now that her father was dead, she would no longer be protected by his liberal worldview and she would be "cut" according to their custom. Fauziya, fled the marriage and the forced female genital mutilation and came to America seeking asylum.

This story just floored me. Fauziya was treated as a criminal in the United States. Even though she did not attempt to enter the country illegally, she was thrown into jail and kept there for a year and a half. In that time she goes through UNBELIEVABLE mental and physical trials. Nearly losing her mind and her life. At many points in the book, I seriously thought I might lose it with her.

To get a short article summary of what makes this book so gripping, click here. I understand if you don't have the time to sit down with this 500+ page book -- it's definitely NOT a light summer read-- I mean it isn't hard to get through but man, not a light topic! I hope you read the article familiarizing yourself with the basics of Fauziya's story. It made me take a closer look at what I think of when I think of "illegal immigrant" or "alien."

It also made me realize how our justice system can be so blind. During her first trial for asylum, Fauziya is treated deplorably by the trial judge, who interrupts her, mocks her and accuses her of lying about her story. According to him (a white privileged male who'd never even been to Togo) Fauziya could have EASILY avoided the mutilation if she so chose and it wasn't grounds for asylum, simply part of her culture that she should have to deal with.

An American judge said that!! That women don't deserve protection from forced marriage (and forced rape) and terrible genital mutilation. Makes you really worried huh?

The end of this book made me sob out loud. I don't know if a film version could capture this all adequately but I'd love to see it attempted because the story of faith, perseverance and love are just overwhelming. By the end, this book is not a downer, but really leaves you feeling full of hope and gratitude.

I think my next book shall be a sleazy romance novel, or something likewise as light. Hope you're enjoying your summer reading!

xoxo

Adams family extra?

I work at a store with wigs and I thought this one was fun. How do I look as a raven haired chick? Sorry... it was a slow day. Picture courtesy of cell phone.

Taboo(b)??

This magazine cover has sparked major controversy! And according to this article, it wasn't a group of fundamentalist conservatives that had their knickers in a twist, but mothers who read the magazine! Kinda weird, I thought, that mothers would be freaked out by pictures of a MOTHER nursing?

Apparently I am way behind the boob controversy. While most people advocate breastfeeding, many mothers are split on where it is appropriate to nurse. Should a mother nurse in public?

When mothers wrote in complaining about this cover, comments ran something like, "I immediately turned the magazine face down...gross." And a mother who didn't want her teenage son to see, "I shredded it, a breast is a breast, it's a sexual thing. He didn't need to see that."

Hmmm. That kinda struck me as odd. It's not a boob on the cover of Playboy, this breast is feeding an infant! Is there really NO difference? What do you guys think?

Granted, I'm not a mother, but I think if I was in a restaraunt, I would just cover myself with a blanket, not make a big deal about it and quietly nurse my baby. Why should I go stand in an uncomfortable, crowded, dirty bathroom? If I can, I'd like to breastfeeed one day-- it's supposedly really better...

"Breastfeeding protects babies from colds, flu, and ear infections, pneumonia, diarrhea, and even obesity, doctors say. It also helps mothers burn up to 500 calories a day (sweet). Some studies show extended breast-feeding reduces risk of ovarian and breast cancer, as well as Type 2 diabetes and osteoporosis. Breast milk contains a wonderful hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK), which induces sleepiness (also awesome), both in the baby and the mother. It is the easiest method to put your child to sleep. Plus breastfeeding is a natural way of bonding with your child. Nursing and holding the child close causes the brain to release a hormone-like substance called oxytocin. Its release is especially pronounced with skin-to-skin contact. This hormone has been called "bonding hormone". It provides a sense of calm and well being and helps the mother and child to bond together."

In case you're wondering, studies show that 57 percent of the public are uncomfortable with public breast-feeding, according to Babytalk magazine. But breast-feeding in public is not outlawed in any state. In fact, 42 states have laws that specifically protect a woman's right to breast-feed in public.

This is what I've been thinking about today.... I'd love your feedback.

80% better, and other random thoughts

So I'm not quite 100% better yet, but I'm on my way. Today I finally got out and had some sunshine... first time in three days! Yikes. Tyler took me to Green Mill to try some fun food again. I ordered a steak-- doctor told me that people with the flu should stay away from dairy (quick helpful tip for any of you who should be so unfortunate to suffer this same crap). The steak was great, but after two bites or so, I was full. I think my stomach shrunk in this process. Probably won't last, I am built to consume after all:) but it was kinda weird. I have a big box of leftovers, which is okay because I love cold steak. Especially on salad. Yum. Hmm, maybe I'm hungry.

Apparently eating was exhausting cause I fell asleep at Tyler's for two hours. We watched "Inside the Actor's Studio" because they interviewed Hugh Laurie, who plays House, in "House M.D." and we love that show. Anyone who's seen the movie "Sense and Sensibility" will also know Hugh Laurie as the bored husband, Mr. Palmer. Hugh Laurie is actually kinda hot in a grissled old man way. Hmmm. You know who else is hot? Jake Gyllenhaal. Also Christian Bale. Okay. That is all.

So what are all your thoughts on the movie "World Trade Center"? I just watched an MTV movie special about the film. I have a desire to see it but I'm afraid because the preview alone makes me sob-- not tear up, not cry-- sob. I think I may have to skip this one. But I'd like to know what other people think of it.

This is ridiculous. I shut my finger in the car door on July 4th and I still can't feel anything! I think I killed all the nerves. Lame.

Ooh! "Beaches" is on AMC! I haven't seen that movie in ages. Can you tell I'm watching a lot of TV today? I *heart* Bette Midler. I want to be her friend.

Ugh. Actually all I really want right now is a huge piece of cake. Why don't I keep more cake in the house?

Okay, even though I've already slept a good portion of the day, I should turn in. I refuse to miss another day of work and I've got a full 8 hour shift tomorrow *boo*.

Take care. Wash your hands often to prevent the flu and if you do get it-- AVOID DAIRY :)