My letter to Paris Hilton

I have a growing list of celebrities that I really adamantly dislike:

Donald Trump -- asshole with bad hair. I base the "asshole" diagnosis on the Rosie feud and pretty much every interview I've seen him do.
P. Diddy -- or whatever his name is now. Hate every single thing about him.
Dustin Diamond -- Have you seen Celebrity Fit Club (where he is a MAJOR jerk and whining about/promoting his porn)? Or for that matter, have you seen Saved by the Bell, where he also sucked.
Quentin Tarintino -- This classy dude spits on people and his resume is full of movies featuring mostly naked chicks-- oh yeah, and they mostly get tortured.
Eddie Murphy --Seriously he nearly ruins Shrek for me. I hate his treatment of his former girlfriend-- denying he's the father of her child (classy) and watch a preview of his Norbit movie, that's all I have to say.

And lastly I cannot STAND
Paris Hilton

Now, that being said. I feel sorry for her right now. It's like America is full of people who are still bitter at the bitchy, pretty girl from high school. So we take it out on her.

So here is my message for her.


~~~~~

Dear Paris,

Calm down. You need to calm down. I realize life is very hard in prison but you aren't in frickin Iraq. You're in a jail cell. You broke the law. It happens. Try and take this time to read some books. Keep up on your correspondence and learn how to go 48 hours without getting your picture taken or going to a party.

For the record, I do think it sucks that everyone is making a big circus out of this ordeal. I'd probably cry in the back of a cop car too. I'm sorry everyone is posting that picture of you everywhere.

You know what the best revenge is? Grow up! Stop giving them fodder for calling you a baby. You'd really be famous for actually handling this well. Besides, if you calm down I might quit hearing about this craziness.

Sorry, I guess that's selfishness on my part. That's so NOT hot of me.

XOXO