Oh-- THAT'S what the deal is...

This is what I have become... sad, yes?


So I have figured out "the deal." And it involves a rather interesting story

Wednesday night I finally caved and went to the E.R. They told me I was likely having problems with my gallbladder. They gave me morphine—lovely by the way --- and told me to come back at…
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9 am today—I have an ultrasound at the hospital. Very weird waiting for an ultrasound with both your parents and no wedding ring on your finger. I felt the need to scream “I’m not preggo!” at everyone who looked my way.

9:30 am – I have my first ultrasound. Very odd sensation. I get nervous as technician is clearly spending less time in the gallbladder region and more time in my lower abdomen. Not that I have any idea how to read an ultrasound but I was disturbed by the big dark spots on the screen.

11:30 am – I get the results of my test in the doctors office. “No Emily. Not a gallbladder problem.” Rather I have a massive growth around my left ovary—um what? And by massive, I mean 31 centimeters!

11:45 am – As doctor begins to ramble about “Girls my age shouldn’t worry because it’s a very small chance of being malignant” – start to stop listening, begin to panic.

12:00 pm – Go home numb and convinced I have cancer and freaked out.

12:30 – take my first 16 ounce dozes of chalky stuff in preparation for my CAT scan. Tastes very bad and chalky

1:30 -- next 16 ounces does not go down as well… does not go down at all. ‘Nough said.

2:30 – CAT scan. Very weird. Very 2001: Space Odyssey –esque. They make go through this big scary tube and an electronic voice said “Breathe in” “breathe out” – it’s not relaxing at all, in case you are wondering

4:30 pm I get phone call with results. Mass of cells is not very dark, indiciating it is not solid and cancerous but rather ovarian cysts.

HOORAY. Seriously, I still need surgery and that won’t be fun at all. But earlier today I wasn’t sure if I had cancer, and to be honest, I’ve never been so scared in my life. This sounds potentially nerdy but I don’t care. I learned today to take bodily pain seriously and be grateful ALWAYS for good health.

Also on the nerdy vein… I am terrified of surgery, especially when it’s needed to remove a cyst that is by all estimates at least 8 inches long. See picture for estimate. So if you’re not busy, perhaps you can pray for me? I don’t much care for hospitals, surgeries or cysts for that matter.

PS: In an effort to make me less nervous, friends have christened my cyst "Goliath" I will let you know when Goliath is no longer with us. Till then, stay cool, watch your ovaries.