What's the deal?

Do you ever spend too much time inside your own mind and get seriously worried?

I know I do.

Today for instance, I was sitting in class and not feeling well (more on that later) when the group that was leading the class said "Number off and make groups." Grrr. I don't want to number off! Whenever I number off I end up next to randoms and we're supposed to discuss stuff but instead they stare at me.

So we numbered off and as I was sitting there awaiting instruction, I just remember distinctly feeling like... um, yeah. No. So I got up, left class and went down to the computer lab, where I checked my e-mail and surfed the internet for awhile. I came back 20 minutes later when group work was done and I could enjoy class discussion again. But seriously-- why did I do that? It's so random! But I had absolutely no guilt; it was as if my brain shut off and my body took over under the command, "I have to get the hell out of here."

Truly bizarre.

But to be fair... the "not feeling well" I was experiencing is pretty gross. It's sharp shooting pains in my abdomen. I am contemplating going to the doctor but I have a huge fear that doctors are always secretly looking for ways to prod around on parts of your body you don't want them in. Anyway, I'm praying at some point I'll throw up and it's not an appendicitis or something serious. Either way, it's not fun. Every now and then I want to curl up in the fetal position and moan for awhile. Maybe it's stress??? But that doesn't make sense. I've been way more stressed than this before.

Last night Tyler and I took a walk around UND campus late at night. It was a gorgeous night and would have been perfect had I remembered my inhaler. Sometimes colder air is very bad for me and by the end of our walk I was wheezing like a sick cat. I remember thinking "spring is officially here" all the trees had buds that were opening-- ahh leaves! So pretty. I remember thinking to myself, as he and I passed under the UND eternal flame that this would be such a pretty spot to get engaged-- late at night, with all the big trees and the flame... then I actually thought about if Tyler proposed and ... come to think of it... that's when the shooting pain started. Just kidding. Not at all. But with so many folks getting married, it's hard not to think about it, it just scares me... that's all.

And now for a bit of true randomness. Every entry I usually like to have a picture. But no picture goes with this entry, so allow me to introduce you to a desert squirrel I met while in vacation in California. I named him Merle. He was very nice.

Back to regular stuff...I am currently listening to Wynonna Judd sing "Only love" I *heart* that song. I know I should get a jump on papers since they're all due soon but I feel like laying on my bed, listening to fun old tunes and taking a nap. It's really a brilliant idea. Maybe it'll make my phantom cramp/contraction/bursting appendix pains go away.

More later....